REVIEW 144: GIFT OF THE MAGI

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  The Lost Abbey

STYLE:  Bière de Garde

ABV:  12.0%

PURCHASE:  25.4-oz. bottle, $14.99

SERVING:  Said bottle, poured into St. Bernardus branded snifter. Not very heady. I got maybe half an inch from pours of both normal (~20 seconds) and fast (~10) speed. A slow pour yielded not even one complete layer. Not much retention of what was there.

APPEARANCE:  Chestnut brown, almost like apple butter. Beige-white head. Translucent, as it seems to glow even when not in the light. Faint bubbling present. No lacing.

BOUQUET:  Malty and earthy. Seems a bit figgy or raisin-like. Brown sugar seems evident, as does a pinch of spice, seemingly clove, as in a witbier. Before I continue, I must say that I reviewed this one once before, for a private message board, almost five years ago. And scouring my notes from that session--via the original post--my experience tonight was strikingly different.

PALATE:  Malt sweetness characterizes practically the entire front half. Dark fruit enters the picture toward the slightly boozy finish, in the form of fig and possibly raisin. Rich aftertaste, continuing with the fig, but added hints of what seems to be clove. Warming at the end. The label claims this is "dry-hopped," but I couldn't detect any sort of hop presence whatsoever. (Note: This also contrasts with my earlier, private review, which noted a hoppy and also citrusy presence.). Not overly complex on the whole, and like a lot of specialty brews, gets better as it warms up a bit. In fact, these beers are better consumed at 50-55 degrees Fahrenheit, as opposed to 35-40 degrees for a "normal" beer. If drunk too cold, you will no doubt experience an off-putting yeast factor--likely the brettanomyces at play. (That's what the label refers to as "brett." "Brett" is the colloquial shorthand synonym for brettanomyces. Okay, that's enough with the etymology for one day.)

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  The recipe for this brew has obviously changed since I first (and last) had it, in 2012. Comparing my notes for both that and tonight's sessions is like night and day. Even the ABVs are different: It's gone up two percentage points in that time!

In that earlier session, I noted that I thought this was an "elite brew." That wasn't the case here, although I was still nonetheless very pleased. The "magi," if you're not aware, refers to the "Three Wise Men" who visit Jesus with gifts of gold, myrrh, and frankincense. I don't know if I tasted or smelled any in the beer; I don't have much gold and have never once encountered the other two. Myrrh? What the hell is that?




GRADE:   B+

REVIEW 143: PILSNER URQUELL

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Czech Republic

BREWERY:  Plzeňský Prazdroj

STYLE:  Pilsener

ABV:  4.4%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 11.2-oz. bottles, $32.99

SERVING:  11.2-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Standard pour yielded a head of roughly an inch and a half. A slower one on Round 2 got less than an inch. A fast pour on Round 3 resulted in two full inches. Slightly above average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent brass body with a very bright white head. Very faint bubbling. Lacing is minimal and in a broken pattern--when noticeable.

BOUQUET:  Soft malt notes, hints of noble hops, and a bit husky.

PALATE:  Classic pilsener, simple and relatively straightforward. Medium body that leans toward the light side of things. Carbonation is fairly quick to assert itself, but manageable. Starts grainy and husky, then segues into a mid- and back palate with slight uptick in noble hop bitterness. Finish sees a seeming touch of lemon rind enter the picture; I say "seeming" to acknowledge that this is likely a placebo effect in action. Aftertaste is somewhat sweet and sees a return to huskiness, but with an addition of what seems to be a very, very, slight spice note; this has to be the effect of Saaz hops. They're known for that. Stella has these same hops, but they work better here.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Introduced in 1842, this is commonly referred to as the "original pilsener" and the world's "first pale lager." I use quotes to allow for the possibility of historical inaccuracies. According to a tour of the Pilsner Urquell brewery undertaken by a group from the University of Economics, Prague, this is the beer that has inspired roughly two-thirds of all beers we drink today. 

It's significant in an historic way, no doubt. It was once one of the most prestigious brews in the world. And it's had a very, very, long run, akin to that of another famous Czech export:  Jaromir Jagr. He has now surpassed Mark Messier to become second to Wayne Gretzky in points for an NHL player. Jagr is 44 years old, and last year he led the Florida Panthers in scoring. And this year he is still producing better than most players half his age. But he's simply not the same player he was during his 1990s peak with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Like Pilsner Urquell, he's been surpassed by a new generation. There are pilseners out there comparable to Jagr in his prime; but this one is more like the Florida version.

Nonetheless, you can't help but savor what's still there.




GRADE:   B-

REVIEW 142: WINTER CHEERS

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Victory Brewing Company

STYLE:  Hefeweizen

ABV:  6.7%

PURCHASE:  Draft (13-oz.), $6.00

SERVING:  Tulip glass. 3/4" head from tap. Very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Pale, golden-straw body. Bright and spongy white head. Steady but narrow bubbling. Consistent, albeit minimal, lacing around the glass.

BOUQUET:  Strong clove and coriander factor--this is a wheat beer, of course. Subtle citrus notes, namely of orange and lemon peel. A tease of banana. No real hop presence.

PALATE:  Run-of-the-mill body with crisp and slightly biting carbonation. Not particularly filling for a beer at this ABV. Tastes like it could be lightly hopped, but it's not truly discernible. At the forefront are moderate lemony-citrus notes. Yeasty undertones throughout. Finish seems largely twofold. It's sweet and cider-like. Secondly, there's a slight fusel quality to it--particularly when swallowed fast--but nothing truly off-putting. Various notes in the aftertaste: Subtle hints of witbier spices; a tinge of pepper; a bit appley as well. Emphasis on the adjectives here that indicate shyness; this beer could stand to be a bit more aggressive. Holds back a little too much.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  A hefeweizen as a "winter" beer? Well, if it shares characteristics with winter warmers and Belgian strong ales, then why not? 

That said, this one is like an actress who specializes in romantic comedies; likeable enough, but ultimately lacking an edge. I rate it accordingly.




GRADE:   B-

See? The label even looks like a movie poster for a rom-com!

REVIEW 141: DELIRIUM TREMENS (REVISITED)

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Belgium

BREWERY:  Brouwerij Huyghe

STYLE:  Strong Pale Ale

ABV:  8.5%

PURCHASE:  Draft (12-oz.), $7.50

SERVING:  Tulip glass. Usual head of three-quarters of an inch to an entire inch for the first two beers, then the tap seemed to catch a "head fever" and gave me two full inches for Round 3. Average retention this time, as opposed to great retention from the bottled version.

APPEARANCE:  Foggy, pale golden body with slightly off-white head. Faint bubbling. Splotchy lacing around the inside of the glass.

BOUQUET:  Fairly balanced between malt and hops, with malt notes holding a slight edge. Fruity and citrusy, with noticeable appleskin essences. A tinge of banana and seeming traces of witbier spices such as clove.

PALATE:  Goes down effortlessly for a beer of this strength. Carbonation is initially quite tame but gets a bit sharp if held too long. Sweet malt entry, leading to a fruity mid-palate. Lightly hopped. Undertones of banana seem to lurk. Sour apple notes become more prominent toward the end; this was not noticeable in the bottled version. Aftertaste is yeasty, citrusy, and appley, with a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kick of pepper and clove at the end. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This was only the second time I've had Delirium on tap, and like the first, it possessed a strong apple presence. Why I didn't pick up on this in the bottled version, I can't say. Maybe I'm just not that savvy a beer snob. Or maybe it's just not there in bottled form.

This is a deceptive beer. You can almost down this as if it were Budweiser. But then it would be bad news! Good thing for me that it's quality, and not quantity, that I'm after. And quality this is, though I may have overrated it by a hair the first time around.




ORIGINAL GRADE:  A

NEW GRADE:  A-

Delirium Tremens is also the name of a speed and thrash metal band from Germany. Check'em out!

This is their Facebook page. And here they are live:

REVIEW 140: RACER 5 IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Bear Republic Brewing Company

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  7.5%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $7.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Head of one full inch and change from the tap. World-class retention.

APPEARANCE:  This is one beautiful IPA. Golden-caramel colored body. Dense and spongy white head that almost defies gravity. Cloudy but translucent overall appearance. Not very much noticeable bubbling. Lacing that is beyond extraordinary; almost as if it was independently put there by a professional whitewasher.

BOUQUET:  Sports a hoppy forefront--it's an IPA, duh. But it's tempered by a very well rounded malt and citrus presence. Grapefruity. A tease of caramel seems to linger in there.

PALATE:  Extremely well attenuated. Soft carbonation on a slightly heavy body. It's an IPA, so you know what the constant factor is from start to finish. Mid-palate, grapefruit notes take hold, leading to an ideally balanced finish of hops, citrus, and toasted malt. Lemon and orange notes enter the fray at this juncture. The caramel seems to have been a mirage; I don't detect any here--not really. No matter: This isn't overly complex, but not simplemindedly hop-laden either. It's . . . just . . . right. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Takes a backseat to Pliny and Dogfish's 90 Minute IPA, but remains a favorite of mine in this category, and probably among the very best IPAs in the country. Goes with any kind of food and is never out of place, no matter the situation. An IPA for all seasons. 

I can't find an irrefutable connection between Racer 5 and the Mach 5 from Speed Racer, but one of the taglines, per Bear Republic's own website, is: "There's a trophy in every glass." Come on!




GRADE:  A

REVIEW 139: WHO YOU CALLIN' WUSSIE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Arrogant Brewing

STYLE:  Pilsener

ABV:  5.8%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $7.00

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Standard 3/4" head from the tap. Good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Classic golden-straw color, see-through, with an equally classic sudsy white head. Very faint but visible bubbling. Picture-perfect lacing around the inside of the glass.

BOUQUET:  Citric and noble hop bitterness are immediately noticeable. Malted barley and yeast lurk in the background, aromatically. Somewhat grassy.

PALATE:  Moderate body with mild carbonation. Doesn't take long for hop bitterness to take hold, but it never goes too far. Rounded out very nicely by the malt and citrus notes--almost comes off as a pale ale. Finishes with a too-prominent uptick of yeast, but it's a meshing of hops and citric bitterness that saves, then carries, an otherwise addictive and lingering aftertaste. Just the right amount of complexity. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Prior to the advent of the mass-produced adjunct lager, this was likely what most people would call "regular beer": The pilsener. 

Credit the American microbrewer, in this case Arrogant Brewing, with bringing it back. This was introduced this past June, roughly one year after Arrogant split from their longtime parent, Stone. (Both breweries remain situated in Escondido, California, outside San Diego.)  The aim of this brew, as advertised on the Arrogant website, is to return the pilsener "to its almighty glory." 

At the very least, it's a great start.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 138: MINT JULEP ALE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Flying Dog Brewery

STYLE:  Blonde Ale

ABV:  6.0%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $7.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Initially heady from the tap, but served with the standard 3/4" head. Average to slightly better than average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent blond-straw body. Almost looks like a pilsner--even an adjunct lager. The usual white head. Inconsistent, splotchy lacing. Bubbling visible, particularly early on.

BOUQUET:  Lives up to its name. Muddled mint leaf aroma above all else. Strain and you might pick up a bit of floral hop, a bit of malt, a bit of yeast. But it's difficult. Almost smells like mint gum, or Tic-Tacs. 

PALATE:  Not particularly filling; goes down like a minty adjunct lager. Normal carbonation. As with the aroma, strain and you can pick up traces of malt, yeast, and floral hops. The yeast asserts itself at the finish, but that mint just doesn't want to share the spotlight. It's not overpowering, exactly; it's more the brewmaster's doing than anything else. This is just not an ideally balanced beer. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This beer is misnamed. Mint juleps are made as much with bourbon as with mint. Yet this brew had no bourbon character. At all. 

Intriguing idea, but so-so execution. Not exactly a miss, but nowhere near a hit, either. Hey, it'll freshen your breath!

NOTE:  This beer is only available while supplies last, as it has been "retired" by its brewery.



GRADE:  C-

An actual mint julep.

REVIEW 137: PUNKIN ALE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:   Dogfish Head Craft Brewery

STYLE:  Pumpkin Ale

ABV:  7.0%

PURCHASE:  Draft (12-oz.), $7.00

SERVING:  Chimay branded chalice. From the tap, a half-inch head with average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Translucent auburn color. Visually alluring. Off-white head. No visible bubbling and no real lacing either.

BOUQUET:  Essentially pumpkin spice and brown sugar. Nutmeg and cinnamon are detectable.

PALATE:  Middle-of-the-road body with normal carbonation. Entry starts softly, and gradually crescendos in sweetness. Fusel alcohol finish, particularly if swallowed too fast. Aftertaste is spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg, and seemingly, clove and allspice. Could stand to have a bit more pumpkin; the brown sugar was actually more prominent. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  A tasty brew, but points off for a relatively subdued pumpkin flavor. This is like a second-rate Hitchcock film: It's still better than most of its competition, even if it's not exactly an ace in its field. 

You know what this is named for? World Championship Punkin Chunkin (WCPC), an annual pumpkin chucking contest held in Delaware, the home of Dogfish Head. "Punkin chunkin" is slang for "pumpkin chucking." And I'm not talking manual chucking either. They use mechanical launching equipment. (See below.) It's even aired on the Science Channel. What will they think of next?




GRADE:  B+

REVIEW 136: BELGIAN FREEZE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:   River Horse Brewing Company

STYLE:  Winter Warmer

ABV:  8.0%

PURCHASE:  Draft (13-oz.), $5.50

SERVING:  Tulip glass. From the tap, a pretty standard head of roughly one inch. Mediocre retention.

APPEARANCE:  Translucent and gorgeous auburn-caramel body with an off-white head. No visible bubbling and zero lacing.

BOUQUET:  Banana and dark fruit--namely fig and raisin--above all else. Malty with no real hop presence--at least not aromatically. Significant caramel, with hints of clove and even what seems to be pumpkin spice. Has a ginger snap quality to it.

PALATE:  Slightly heavy mouthfeel with carbonation that goes from 0 to 60 in just a few seconds. Lacks depth and dimension, particularly up front, where it's a bit piney. More rounded at the finish, but only incrementally. The aftertaste is richer, with increased caramel, dark fruit, and spice notes, as well as a slight hop uptick. Enough to salvage an underwhelming start, but what might have been . . .

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This is a hard beer to categorize. Beer Advocate calls it a "Belgian dark ale." But I think that's wrong. It has too high an ABV, for one thing. Then there's the Christmasy, seasonally spicey aspect to it. I don't care if it has the word "Belgian" in the name; this is a winter warmer. So it's actually more English than Belgian. 

Regardless of what beer category you assign it, this is a beer with an aroma that seems to promise so much, but leads to a taste that delivers, well, less than that. Not one of River Horse's best.




GRADE:  C

REVIEW 135: MILLER GENUINE DRAFT

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Miller Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.7%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $20.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour resulted in a normal one-inch head. A faster pour doubled that; a slower one got a little less. Average retention. I know you're excited.

APPEARANCE:  See-through adjunct straw-brass color, with the typical white head. Faster than average bubbling action and surprisingly decent lacing.

BOUQUET:  Grassy, somewhat ricey, and generically grainy, with a hints of corn and faintly floral hops. Truthfully, it smells like a keg; that must be why it's called "Miller Genuine Draft."

PALATE:  Extremely easy to drink; this is the hallmark of a beer with mass appeal. It's a thirst-quencher and will not leave your throat dry. Standard carbonation in a slightly lighter-than-average body. Mouthfeel is fairly clean early on, save for a shy hop note. Gets a bit grainier mid-palate. Somewhat yeasty finish that's characterized by corn and more cereal grain notes. Aftertaste is mainly more of the same, with a small dose of seltzer. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  As average a drinking experience as exists. For an adjunct, though, that's good.

Introduced in 1985 as a beer that replicated that fresh-from-the-tap taste of Miller High Life. That's right: This is basically the same recipe as the "Champagne of Beers." So why was it rechristened "Miller Genuine Draft?" Because it's cold-filtered, instead of heat-pasteurized. That's it. 

You know what "MGD" more commonly stands for? Machine generated data. It also stands for "millions of gallons per day," as a unit of flow measurement. It's also the international code for Magdalena Airport in Bolivia. Read my beer reviews and learn.




GRADE:  C-

REVIEW 134: ICELANDIC TOASTED PORTER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Iceland

BREWERY:  Einstök Ölgerð

STYLE:  Porter

ABV:  6.0%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 11.2-oz. bottles, $15.99

SERVING:  11.2-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour produced a roughly two-inch head. A slower pour got only a little less. Better than average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Opaque and almost pitch-black with a tan-beige head. No bubbling visible for obvious reasons. Lacing is minimal and scattered. 

BOUQUET:  Coffee, chocolate, and malt for the most part. (Hey, that rhymes.) Or should I say, coffee and chocolate malt for the most part. A faint hop note is makeable, as is some type of fruit or berry. (I cheated and looked it up. It's bilberry, a sort of European blueberry which is close to a blackberry, but is nonetheless nobody's berry but its own.)

PALATE:  Fairly normal body and level of carbonation. Makes for smooth drinking--which isn't necessarily a given with a porter. Not overly rich. Coffee notes dominate the early going, with an ever so slight hop tinge. Chocolate malt fades in at the back. The coffee flavor remains but subsides the rest of the way. Malt notes become mildly roasty, yet with no significant bitterness, in the aftertaste, with a fair amount of yeast rounding things out. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  The Republic of Iceland makes its debut on Crockett's Cold Ones with this American-style porter from Einstök Ölgerð. How do you pronounce that? We'll start with the "ö," which is sounded as if it were German: A cross between a long "o" and long "u" in English. "Ei" is pronounced as if it were a long "a" in English, "e" in the same manner. Then there's that last letter, which I'm willing to bet most of you have never seen before: "ð." That's uttered as if it were the English "th," as in "the," "this," or "that." Put it all together, and you get AIN-stök ÖL-gairth, if that's the correct way to phonetically write it out. What's it mean? "Einstök" can mean either "individual" or "unsurpassed." "Ölgerð" means "ale brewery," "öl" literally translating to "ale" in English. That's your Icelandic lesson for today, boys and girls.

What a lot of people also don't know is that beer was almost entirely banned from Iceland for most of the twentieth century, due to popular referendum in 1908, taking effect in 1915. In fact, that referendum banned all alcohol until it was partially lifted in 1921 due to trade disputes with Spain and Portugal and the ensuing economic ramifications. Another referendum followed in 1933, further lifting the ban, albeit again only partially: Beer could now be bought, sold, and consumed again, but only if it were, at most, 2.25% ABV. In other words, you were basically stuck with shitty light beer.

It would not be until March 1, 1989--now celebrated annually as "Beer Day"--that the ban was lifted entirely and permanently. Since then, Iceland has seen its hard liquor consumption decline and its beer consumption rise to takes its place. Breweries have sprung up all over the island country. And while this beer doesn't quite live up to its maker's name translated to English--"unsurpassed ale brewery"--it remains a testament to the considerable progress Icelandic brewers have made.




GRADE:  B

REVIEW 133: MAD ELF

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Tröegs Brewing Company

STYLE:  Strong Dark Ale

ABV:  11.0% (You read that right.)

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $19.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into Watou branded snifter. There is almost no head with this beer from the bottle, unless you pour it abnormally fast. Even then, it disappears in seconds. Want head? Shake it!

APPEARANCE:  Ruby-burgundy color with a tan head--when it's there. Could pass for cognac or even bourbon if not for the minor bubble action. No lacing whatsoever. Perhaps a pint glass would change that--but this isn't a beer you drink from a pint glass.

BOUQUET:  Smells like a cherry orchard. More specifically, smells like a cherry orchard situated right next to a wheat field. Or a barley field, I guess. This is also brewed with honey, according to the label, but it's much, much less conspicuous. Strain and you might, as I did, pick up a hint of chocolate malt. Vague spice notes are detectable as well, but are difficult to pinpoint; I'm guessing--maybe, maybe--allspice, or maybe a touch of nutmeg and/or cinnamon. I can't make out anything else.

PALATE:  Gently carbonated with a moderate to slightly heavy body--it is, after all, a beer with an ABV in the double digits. The theme of this beer, boys and girls, is cherry. Entry is a little malty, but mainly characterized by cherry. Mid-palate retains some malt throughline, but is nonetheless mainly characterized by cherry. A toasted grain factor enters the picture at the boozy finish, which is still mainly characterized by cherry. The aftertaste is the most complex aspect of the sipping experience here: Still heavily leaning toward the cherry notes, but with some balance toward some toasted malt, seemingly of a chocolate variety. There are hops in here, but they are suppressed to the point where they are untraceable. The label advertised that this was brewed with honey, and it was at this point that I finally noticed it. You know what else I noticed? Alcohol. This seriously finishes as if it were brandy or even bourbon. That's not a complaint, just an observation.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Are elves really into cherries this much? Wow. But hey, that's not a criticism. It works here.

But in all honesty, the Mad Elf could use some more depth and dimension. It could also use some guidance. This is a beer hugely influenced by cherries. Is it supposed to be a kriek? Or is it a strong dark ale in the Belgian tradition, as advertised? The answer to that latter question is yes, in one sense: It's certainly strong. It has an alcohol factor that will sneak up on you if you're not careful. But the taste is markedly better than average. 




GRADE:  B+

REVIEW 132: FESTBIER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Victory Brewing Company

STYLE:  Märzen

ABV:  5.6%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $14.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour yielded an initial head of roughly 2 1/2 inches. Not much variance in head size with respect to speed of pour; a slower pour did cut away an inch, but a faster one didn't really add any. Great retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent but slightly hazy amber-copper body. Head is a light cream color. Steady bubbling. Thin and inconsistent lacing.

BOUQUET:  Pleasantly balanced between malt and hops, both of which are mild relative to the notes of dark fruit and confectionery cocoa or fudge that seem to jump at you. Scent rounded out by tea leaves and orange spice. Not sure if this is smells like a true Oktoberfest beer.

PALATE:  Not sure if this tastes like a true Oktoberfest beer either; in fact, it could almost pass for a Belgian. Dark fruit essences immediately set in upon entry. Mildly hoppy mid-palate, followed by a blending-in of sorts from notes of cocoa and malt at the finish. Multi-dimensional aftertaste one of orange rind and tea, complemented by lingering burnt malt/grain.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  It seems you can't go wrong with anything from Victory, and the Festbier reinforces this notion. That said, it doesn't seem to ideally represent the Oktoberfest--or Märzen--style. A lot of these beers do indeed have notes of chocolate, but of the bitter variety; this one's chocolate factor was cut from the Belgian abbey/European confectionery cloth.

Then there was the tang at the very end of each sip. I'm not complaining--tang is good. But again, it prompted me to ask if I was really drinking a true Oktoberfest, which is proving to be a very eclectic category for me, and hence one that is difficult to pinpoint in terms of common characteristics. Oh well. What difference does it make if I nonetheless enjoyed the beer? 

On another note, I don't remember ever actually drinking Tang as a kid.




GRADE:  B+

REVIEW 131: STONE IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Stone Brewing

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  6.9%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $5.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Ideal 1-1.25" head from the tap. Excellent retention.

APPEARANCE:  Beautiful caramel-gold body on this beer, with a bright and luminescent white head. Narrow but steady bubbling. Semi-transparent. Outstanding lacing.

BOUQUET:  (Take a guess.) Hops. And citrus. BUT . . . hints of malt and more than subtle note of caramel with this one. Not a placebo thing.

PALATE:  A little heavy with expected carbonation. Hoppy, but very well tempered with caramel, malt, and some citrus notes. Hop bitterness characterizes the early going, whereas malt sweetness rises in the finish and lingers afterward, a little too much. Otherwise, this is one of the more expertly crafted palates you'll find on an American IPA. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Introduced in 1997, supposedly this is the IPA that convinced many an American beer drinker to go full-on hophead. 

Is it the original American IPA? I can't say with certainty. But it almost certainly spawned many an imitator, even within the same brewery. Check out Stone's lineup. It seems roughly one out of every three or four beers they offer is an IPA of some sort. Hops are addictive, man. I guess that's why Stone is now the fifteenth largest brewery in the United States. 

I would agree they owe their success in no small part to their original, classic, "west-coast" IPA. What makes it "west coast?" More hops and more alcohol content (supposedly). Another percentage point, and this would be more of an imperial IPA. But who cares? It's the taste that matters, and despite its scores of imitators, this hasn't been bested my many of them.




GRADE:  A

This year marks the 20th anniversary of the establishment of Stone Brewing.

REVIEW 130: MILLER HIGH LIFE (REVISITED)

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Miller Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.6%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $3.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Standard 1/2-3/4" head from the tap with average to slightly worse than average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Typical adjunct straw color with the usual sudsy white head. Moderate bubbling visible. Lacing is initially inconsistent and shy, but becomes more prominent and continuous with repeated servings in the same glass.

BOUQUET:  Simple aroma that's actually somewhat complex for an American macrolager. Husky with a heavy cereal malt presence. A trace of floral hops. 

PALATE:  A little filling for a beer that's under 5%. Carbonation is quick to set in, but not overly aggressive. As the scent indicated, it's husky and grainy from start to finish, seemingly with a trace of, again, floral hops. Very even mouthfeel from start to dry, yeasty finish. Aftertaste is more of the same. Loses luster and becomes a bit more seltzery as it warms. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  First time I ever had this on draft. Save the date!

I can't think of any North American mass-produced lager, particularly adjunct lager, that will ever wow a beer snob such as Yours Truly. But this is one of the better ones out there. At the end of the day, it's an average beer. And for this category of brew, average is decent. 




ORIGINAL GRADE:  C-
NEW GRADE:  C

REVIEW 129: HIPP-O-LANTERN

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  River Horse Brewing Company

STYLE:  Pumpkin Ale

ABV:  8.1%

PURCHASE:  Draft (13-oz.), $5.50

SERVING:  Tulip glass. From the tap, the usual 3/4"-1" head. Decent retention.

APPEARANCE:  Rusted orange body with a beautiful translucent glow to it. Off-white head bordering upon beige. Not much bubbling action--at least none that's visible. Light, scattery lacing.

BOUQUET:  It's a pumpkin ale; take a guess. Okay, it's also a little malty. And it claims to be brewed with molasses, though I personally found this hard to discern. Great aroma just the same.

PALATE:  Slightly heavy body with run-of-the-mill carbonation. Starts a bit sweet and takes on a somewhat fluffy nature mid-palate, just for a moment. Then it segues into a darker finish; this must be the molasses at work. Pumpkin spices (e.g. nutmeg, allspice) are constant. Somewhat piney finish with an aftertaste characterized by brown sugar and continued pumpkin-pie goodness. Well-balanced mouthfeel.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  I find a lot of pumpkin beers to be fad-like; in other words, they seem to pay lip service to the "pumpkin crowd" (white girls?). Generic flavor. Too thin. Too watery. Not enough actual pumpkin character. Not much depth. Too one-dimensional.

This one was none of those things, and I rank it accordingly.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 128: BECK'S

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Germany/USA (As with Foster's, it you're drinking it here, it was brewed here. St. Louis, to be exact.)

BREWERY:  Brauerei Beck & Co.

STYLE:  Pilsener 

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $24.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Standard pour yielded a standard head (little over one inch). A faster pour didn't change that. Mediocre head retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent but slightly hazy. The expected straw-brass color with the expected Alka-Seltzerish white head. Faint but steady bubbling. Lacing almost nonexistent. 

BOUQUET:  Fairly clean, no-frills grainy aroma. A tad floral, but also sports adjunct-like "cooked-veggie" notes. 

PALATE:  Smooth body--for the most part--with easygoing carbonation. Simple, straightforward, and unwavering mouthfeel of mostly generic grain, perhaps a fraction of a note of hops, and indecipherable adjuncts. Agreeable but unexciting taste; nothing grabs you. Off-putting metallic vibe in the aftertaste. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Here's a bit of trivia for you: According to The Accidental Billionaires (the novel on which the film The Social Network is based), this was Mark Zuckerberg's beer of choice while writing the software for FaceMash, the predecessor to Facebook. 

Here's another bit of trivia for you: Although Beck's is originally from Bremen, Germany, it is also brewed in St. Louis, Missouri, the home of Anheuser-Busch. That's right: Like Foster's, if you're drinking it in the USA, it came from the USA and not from its country of origin. No wonder this came off more as a North American adjunct than a European pilsener. Bleh, bleh, and more bleh.




GRADE:  D+

REVIEW 127: JACK-O TRAVELER PUMPKIN SHANDY

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  The Traveler Beer Company

STYLE:  Shandy; Pumpkin Ale; Pale Wheat Ale

ABV:  4.4%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Heady from the bottle regardless of pour speed. A normal pour produced an initial head of over three inches; a slower one roughly one inch less. Good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Hazy and semi-transparent copper-rust body with a slightly off-white head. Very faint bubbling. No lacing.

BOUQUET:  Smells like liquefied pumpkin pie . . . literally. What else would you expect from a beer that calls itself a "pumpkin shandy?" Specifically, though, aside from pumpkin itself, the scent was heavy on spices such as nutmeg and clove, and seemed to add dashes of cinnamon, allspice, and/or something more obscure. 

PALATE:  Well, the taste doesn't quite pack the same punch as did the aroma, in terms of pumpkin. It's there, but somewhat muted until near the finish. It takes a couple beats to assert itself. Very smooth mouthfeel with soft carbonation and a body that's a bit on the light side. Not as full-flavored as it seems it should be; the spice factor, so prominent nasally, is almost nonexistent taste-wise. Finish is a little toasty and malty, leading to an aftertaste that maintains a moderate amount of pumpkin but adds an accompaniment of citrus zest that wasn't evident in the aroma. (The label on the bottle does say it's brewed with lemon peel.) 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  If you had never heard of the Traveler Beer Company, you would likely think this came from Magic Hat. And why not? Both breweries are from Vermont, the same state that gave us Ben & Jerry's. Those Vermonters and their alternative tastes. 

I love Ben & Jerry's. This? Eh . . .




GRADE:  C+

REVIEW 126: TRICK OR TREAT

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Evil Genius Beer Company

STYLE:  Porter

ABV:  7.8%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $14.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour produced an initial head of roughly four full inches. A slow pour slashed it down to roughly an inch and a half. Very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Semi-transparent body, with a ruby-burgundy color. Spongy and very tightly packed beige head. Moderate bubbling and lacing that is initially splotchy but more consistent with repeated servings.

BOUQUET:  Comes as advertised: Cocoa and pumpkin spices are at the helm. Nutmeg is prominent. You can effectively make out a pie crust. A deep whiff will leave an impression of the whole pumpkin pie in your passageways. Slightly nutty--placebo effect?

PALATE:  For a porter, this has a fairly thin and slightly watery body. Carbonation is soft and slow to assert itself. Pumpkin flavor is all but nonexistent save for some slight notes in the aftertaste. Toasted grains and moderate degrees of bitter chocolate characterize the early and mid-palate; in fact, the "toasted" factor is the through-line here. Somewhat coffee-like finish, with a continued but more suppressed cocoa presence. Overall, a palate that is amiable but ultimately not fully fleshed out; lacks a little punch.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This beer is called "Trick or Treat." And it was both. It was certainly a trick, because it was supposed to be a chocolate-pumpkin porter. To Crockett, it tasted like a . . . porter. Put a blindfold on me at the beginning of tonight's session, without mentioning the name of this beer, and I must admit, I would not have thought this was specifically a "chocolate-pumpkin" porter. Chocolate, maybe. But not pumpkin. 

This brew comes from the Evil Genius Beer Company in Philly. But this beer is not genius. That said, it's not evil, either. I rank it accordingly.




GRADE:  C+

Nice pumpkins. Too bad I barely tasted any in this beer.

REVIEW 125: EXIT 4

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Flying Fish Brewing Company

STYLE:  Tripel

ABV:  9.5%

PURCHASE:  Draft (13-oz.), $7.00

SERVING:  Tulip glass. Initially over a full inch of head from the tap. Good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Glowing golden body with an effervescent, spongy white head. Bubbling not particularly visible. Very good lacing around the glass.

BOUQUET:  Meshing of malt, citrus, hops, and numerous spices, particularly cloves. A hint of banana. High aromatic alcohol presence.

PALATE:  If ever there were a beer with a discrepancy between aroma and taste, this is it. Perplexing to say the least. Though evident in the smell, taste-wise I had trouble making out any citrus or banana. The theme of this beer is sweetness; it starts sweet, continues sweet, finishes sweet, and lingers afterward . . . sweet. It's dextrin-happy. And the sweetness factor slightly crescendos toward the end. Fusel alcohol finish with a warming sensation, which also sees a rise in yeast and hops (though not on a pale ale level). The "far" aftertaste is somewhat spicy, as in a witbier: Cloves and coriander, with a possible touch of pepper. However, all of this is overwhelmed by the sweetness of the malt and dextrins. Tripels are supposed to sport some bitterness; this one had none. The overall taste is still agreeable; it's just lacks dimension. Thankfully, it doesn't take much effort to get through one of these; it doesn't have a very heavy body for a beer of almost 10% alcohol. Moreover, the carbonation, though prominent, remains manageable.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  In 2009, Flying Fish began releasing various beers named after exits on the New Jersey Turnpike. Hence the name "Exit 4." (In real life, departing the turnpike from this exit will land you in Mt. Laurel, near the Moorestown Mall.) You may also notice they employ the alternative spelling of tripel, "trippel," with two "p"s. Just a note, not a criticism.

This is one of those beers that fleshes out a bit as you continue to drink it. Perhaps it's the tulip glass at work: The early going of each serving seemed sharp, whereas the latter half took on a slightly more rounded nature. That's good, but it makes for limited appeal. 

Want a truly world-class tripel? Go with St. Bernardus, or another highly reputable abbey brewery from Belgium, the country credited with originating this style. This one is more on the level of Victory's Golden Monkey, if even that; solid but unspectacular. Eh.




GRADE:  C+

REVIEW 124: SPATEN OKTOBERFEST

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Germany

BREWERY:  Spaten-Franziskaner Bräu

STYLE:  Märzen

ABV:  5.9%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $6.50

SERVING:  Pint glass. Standard head of roughly three-quarter inches from the tap on both servings. Average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Dark amber-copper body with a wispy off-white head. Beautifully translucent. Outstanding lacing.

BOUQUET:  Mostly sweet malt but with noticeable presences of dark fruit, appleskin, caramel, and bitter chocolate. Subtle hints of spice, seemingly cinnamon.

PALATE:  Moderate body with easygoing carbonation. Overall mouthfeel is roasty, and gets a bit roastier towards the rich finish. Malty in the early going, but things are rounded out at the back: Dark fruit and apple notes at the finish, and an aftertaste that seems to start on an accent of toffee before seguing into bitter chocolate at the very, very end. An ever so slight touch of cinnamon seems present at that juncture as well.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  There are six breweries that have officially supplied "Oktoberfestbier" to Oktoberfest in Germany since 1818, and Spaten is one of them. It's nice to see such an historic brewery live up to its name. 

With all due respect to Sam's version, this is an upgrade.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 123: KEYSTONE ICE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Coors Brewing Company

STYLE:  Ice Beer/Adjunct Lager

ABV:  5.9%

PURCHASE:  30-pack of 12-oz. cans, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. can, poured into pint glass. With a normal pour, an initial head of roughly three inches. A slow pour cut that in half, more or less. Surprisingly decent retention.

APPEARANCE:  Adjunct straw, as I like to call it, with the usual white head. Prominent bubbling. Absolutely zero lacing on the first serving, then random splotches on the second, using the same glass.

BOUQUET:  Ahhh . . . adjuncts. That unmistakable "wet sponge/clean metal" aroma. To be fair, I think I picked a note of grassy hops and perhaps a speck of yeast. Probably via chemical engineering.

PALATE:  Middle-of-the-road body texture with carbonation that is not as forceful as you might expect. A fusel-alcohol nasal quality accompanies each sip. Straight-ahead and unwavering palate until the aftertaste, during which there is a slight uptick in yeast. So generic, in fact, that for all I know it was brewed from loaves of white bread. Goes down like a flat soft drink. A taste that is tolerable but nothing more; almost completely devoid of any real character. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  I get it now. Now I understand why the frat boys at Penn State chose Natty.

Because it's better than Keystone.




GRADE:  F

REVIEW 122: LA FIN DU MONDE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Canada

BREWERY:  Unibroue

STYLE:  Tripel

ABV:  9.0%

PURCHASE:  Four-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $14.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into tulip glass (pictured below). Standard 20-sec. pour--slow in this case, since it's a smaller tulip glass--resulted in only about a half-inch initial head, which dissipated rather quickly. For the second beer, I switched to the Chimay branded chalice (pictured above). The difference: A spongy, dense head of almost two full inches, with very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Translucent, hazy body with an apricot-orange color. Off-white tinted head. Steady, "narrow" bubbling in the tulip; a little more pronounced--and concentrated--in the Chimay chalice. Minimal lacing, if you want to call it "lacing."

BOUQUET:  Bready and malty for the most part. With a deep whiff, you will pick up spice notes like coriander and clove--which gives the aroma a witbier quality. Yeasty as well, with a tease of citrus.

PALATE:  At first, carbonation was very quick to assert itself, and very biting. In the Chimay chalice, it was still prominent and more mellow. Slightly heavy mouthfeel. Settles down as the beer sits. Front palate actually seems shallow in terms of what I call "actual beer qualities." Things pick up at mid-palate, with spice notes entering the fray and slowly gaining in presence. Fusel-like finish--though not as in a malt liquor--leading to an aftertaste with an even more pronounced spice factor; I'd even call it peppery. Hop bitterness is not something you would closely associate with a tripel, but there seems to be a bit of it at the very end here.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Tonight's session was a lesson in the role of glassware in the beer-drinking experience. The first bottle, which I poured into the tulip, was sharp and aggressive, though it eventually mellowed out. The second bottle, poured into the Chimay chalice, was mellow right from the get-go. The carbonation was still conspicuous, but it didn't overtake my mouth.

Whatever. It's the taste that matters, and this is top-tier. Quebec seems to be a major player in the craft beer scene these days, and with Unibroue, it's easy to see why.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 121: 90 MINUTE IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Dogfish Head Craft Brewery

STYLE:  Imperial IPA

ABV:  9.0%

PURCHASE:  Four-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into tulip glass. A standard pour (15-20 seconds) produced a head of roughly an inch and a half. A faster one (roughly 10 seconds) got closer to two inches. Very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Hazy and translucent. Rusty copper/burnt orange color, with an off-white head. Steadly, slow bubbling from the bottom of the tulip. Prominent and slightly wavy lacing.

BOUQUET:  Hops, as with any IPA, are most noticeable, but here they are tempered and rounded out by primarily three other aromas: Roasted malt; traces of citrus, likely lemon and grapefruit; and, surprisingly, dark fruit, likely fig and raisin. Honestly smells like an abbey ale from Belgium.

PALATE:  Moderate body--although it's fairly light for a beer with a 9.0% ABV. Carbonation starts softly, then crescendos steadily and consistently and will only become sharp if held for an unreasonably long time. Hops are a constant presence, as you'd expect, but are only truly conspicuous from mid-palate onward. Rich finish and aftertaste, with, again, strong notes of fig and possibly raisin. (This can't be a placebo thing, can it?) Light touches of lemon and grapefruit--and maybe even a little orange--are evident at the very end. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Tonight, believe it or not, was the first time I ever had the 90 Minute IPA. I've had the 60 numerous times, and the 120 on one or two occasions. But for some reason, I never got around to the 90 until tonight. And if I had been blindfolded, I would have thought this was from Belgium. That's how expertly crafted it is.

Many consider this the best IPA in America. They might be right, though Pliny may have something to say about that. In any case, this is a truly elite brew.




GRADE:  A+

I don't know this girl.

REVIEW 120: LABATT BLUE (REVISITED)

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Canada

BREWERY:  Labatt Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $3.00

SERVING:  Labatt Blue branded pint glass. Tap yielded an initial head of roughly half an inch, which promptly disappeared.

APPEARANCE:  Adjunct straw-brass, with a whittling white head. Little bubbling for a mass-produced adjunct. No lacing.

BOUQUET:  Typical "mostly clean" aroma one would associate with a macrolager. Placebo-like notes of malt and hops, but rice and "cooked-veggie" notes are front and center. Yeah, that's what I look for in a brew!

PALATE:  Slightly light body with fairly quick carbonation. Other than that, well . . . I taste . . . adjuncts . . . a little yeast . . . a little generic grain . . . some water. I can pick up a little more yeast in the aftertaste. Seltzer-like mouthfeel--the calling card of a mediocre adjunct lager.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Bleh, bleh, and more bleh. This is one of the most unexciting and uninteresting beers in North America. It doesn't matter whether it's from a bottle, can, or keg. Its only redeemable qualities are that it's easy to drink and isn't skunky. Wow. Mad bombshit props for that.

Maybe it was better back in the Pam era.




ORIGINAL GRADE:  D+
NEW GRADE:  D

REVIEW 119: SAMUEL ADAMS REBEL IPA

Yes, it reads, "Boston Lager." But it's Rebel IPA.

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Boston Beer Company

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  6.5%

PURCHASE:  Draft (22-oz.), $6.75

SERVING:  Samuel Adams branded specialty imperial pint glass. Standard inch-high head from the tap. Decent but unspectacular retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent golden-copper body with the usual white head. Very bubbly and very good, if uneven, lacing.

BOUQUET:  It's an IPA. But . . . this one is not all hops. Very well balanced aroma with pleasant complements of malt, citrus, yeast, and caramel. Nothing an experienced beer drinker hasn't smelt before, but worthy of a nod of affirmation just the same. 

PALATE:  Medium to slightly heavy body. Conspicuous carbonation that, if held too long, will increase rather sharply. Hops--reportedly five different varieties--are front and center, as you'd expect. But this is one of those IPAs that knows when to pull back. And it's multidimensional:  Citrus (mainly grapefruit, but some lemon and orange) notes are increasingly prevalent toward the finish, and the aftertaste equally piney and yeasty with touches of malt and caramel. As with the aroma, very well balanced.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Underrated by most of the online beer snob community; I would rate this even higher if not for the overtly biting carbonation in the early going of each sip. 

For a long time, I have struggled to find a beer from the Sam lineup, aside from Latitude 48, that rivals the flagship Boston Lager. Well, mission accomplished.



GRADE:  A-