COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA
BREWERY: Yards Brewing Company
STYLE: Saison
ABV: 6.5%
PURCHASE: Draught (60-oz. pitcher), $10.00.
SERVING: Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. Solid 1 1/2" head from the tap. Roughly a standard inch from pitcher to glass, even with a slow pour. Decent, but not standout, retention.
APPEARANCE: Translucent golden-orange. Glowing, almost. Visually appealing at the very least. Okay lacing, if inconsistent; the lacing only seemed to hold near the top of the glass.
BOUQUET: Subtly lemony with soft spice essences, seemingly pepper and coriander. A bit malty and a bit yeasty. No hop aroma at all, but that is to be expected with a saison.
PALATE: Medium body with light carbonation--again, indicative of the style. At the forefront, this is somewhat tart and puckery, traits which subside by the relatively dry finish. Zesty citrus tones are sustained throughout. Aftertaste is mainly toasty, a little too much so but still amiable. Said aftertaste is also significantly citrusy--mainly in the form of lemon rind--yeasty, and spicy--as with the bouquet, in the form of coriander and pepper.
MUSINGS AND METAPHORS: Wanna know what goes through my mind when I drink a saison, a.k.a. "farmhouse ale?" Imagery of beer being painstakingly brewed by peasants on European farmhouses of olden times*. You know, fields of endless grains. Lemons (and other citrus fruits), untouched by man-made chemicals, freshly plucked from rows of trees by migrant farmhands. In my experience, very few of these beers have that "obviously macro" feel about them.
Solid offering from Yards, as most of their beers are. That said, it doesn't come close to matching Hennepin (from Ommegang), or even the Farmhouse Ale from Smuttynose, as far as American saisons go.
GRADE: B
*I'm not gay.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA
BREWERY: Small Town Brewery
STYLE: Herbed/Spiced Beer
ABV: 5.9%
PURCHASE: Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $15.99.
SERVING: 12-oz. bottle, poured into Guinness-branded imperial pint glass. Gives no head--insert canned laughter here. It took a fast, ten-second pour to get any noticeable head at all: Your standard inch (of soda suds), which still went away within five seconds or so. Pour this any slower and any fizz goes away almost instantaneously.
APPEARANCE: Cola brown, as you'd expect--check that: Root beer brown. Opaque. Lacing? Ha.
BOUQUET: Well, it smells like a root beer--or a specialty soda you would be served by a soda jerk at a 1950s-themed diner. (I know. I was one. I was young and I needed the work.) I must note that vanilla and sugar were quite prominent--in fact, the vanilla was probably the most conspicuous aroma of all of them. What you will not detect are the ingredients of a standard brewsky: No hops, no malt, no yeast, no citrus of any kind--well, you may make out water. What you will detect are the usual smells associated with root beer, such as anise, licorice, molasses, perhaps a touch of cinnamon, and various other herbs that I can't pronounce.
PALATE: Has the body one would associate with a . . . root beer. Has the carbonation one would associate with a . . . root beer. All in all, tastes like . . . root beer. But an even sweeter root beer. Or Coke. Or Pepsi. Or RC. (What the hell.)
Sugary all the way through, but still bearable in that respect. Alcohol factor is downplayed, palatially speaking. Essentially tastes like a bottle of root beer with half a shot of rum dumped in. Two things rum and root beer have in common: Sugar and molasses, both of which are at the forefront here. In the "aftertaste," if you want to call it that, the aforementioned licorice, cinnamon, and anise seem to fade into the picture. On the whole, comes off like a dessert beer, a "treat" of sorts.
MUSINGS AND METAPHORS: How the hell do I judge this?
Let's just call this what it is: Spiked root beer. Now let's call it what it isn't: BEER. Perhaps we can call it a "specialty beverage." Looked at in that light, it's easy to see why this has grown in popularity in my neck of the woods over the past few months. It's sweet and almost candy-like, so it appeals to anyone chasing a fad (girls). But I can't understand why this would appeal to a beer drinker. Like yours truly. It's too sweet for its own good, for one thing. Secondly, it in no way represents a real beer: No hops, no malted barley or wheat, no yeast--at least, none easily discernible.
Twisted Tea may taste great. But it ain't beer. It's a fad drink. Same here. This is a gimmick, plain and simple. As such, I have no problem with it. It's not as if it tastes like shit. But do I have a problem with it as a beer? As a real beer? See below.
GRADE: F
NOTE: Not Your Father's Root Beer is available with three different ABVs: 5.9% (the standard version, and subject of this review), 10.0%, and 19.5%.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA
BREWERY: Victory Brewing Company
STYLE: Blonde Ale
ABV: 5.2%
PURCHASE: 60-oz. pitcher (draft), $10.00
SERVING: Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. Not overly heady from the tap. When poured steadily from the pitcher into the glass, the result was the standard one-inch head. Not much variance in head size with different pour speeds. A fast pour yielded roughly an inch and a half; a slower pour still produced close to an inch. Head is dense with slightly better than average retention.
APPEARANCE: A bit opaque and gold. I mean like gold gold. Like gold bullion in a glass. Which reminds me: Gold has dipped over the past year; maybe now is the time to get in? . . . White head with significant but uneven lacing.
BOUQUET: Very well balanced between malt and hops, with a pleasant citrus aroma to boot. (See, this is what it's all about. No adjunct crap. You sniff this, visions of virginal fields of grain and hops dance in your head. The hills are alive, with the sound of--sorry.)
PALATE: Medium body with carbonation that remains gentle unless, for some reason, you insist on not swallowing for a long time. As with the aroma, everything is well balanced here. An even hop-malt note softly crescendos early on, while a grapefruit-like bitterness emerges in the finish. A touch of caramel seemingly figures into the aftertaste, which momentarily heightens the citrus and noble hop essences before receding. "A Touch of Caramel" would make a good movie title.
MUSINGS AND METAPHORS: It's called Summer Love, which conjures up expectations of a pale wheat ale a la Sam Summer, or a Leinie-like shandy you would drink while resting on your hammock. If you have a hammock.
But this is a blonde ale, or "golden" ale, and relatively Belgian in profile; think Vienna Lager (e.g. Sam) fused with pale ale, and perhaps tripel, qualities: Fuller flavor, longer lasting aftertaste, etc. Unlike most "summer beers," it doesn't merely go down easily and quench your thirst; it can round out the lineup at a gastropub and impress the snobs. In any case, it's far ahead of the "summer" beer pack, and despite its name, it's really a beer for all seasons.
GRADE: A-
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA
BREWERY: 21st Amendment Brewery
STYLE: Fruit/Vegetable Beer
ABV: 4.9%
PURCHASE: Six-pack of 12-oz. cans, $12.99.
SERVING: 12-oz. can, poured into pint glass. My standard first pour of 20-second duration yielded an initial head of roughly 3 1/2 inches. A slower pour on the second round produced about two. A fast (10-second) dispensation for Round 3 ended up with suds dominating the glass; this is obviously due more to the container being a can than to the beer being what it is. That said, in no case was the head too dense; it was rather rocky, with merely average retention.
APPEARANCE: Foggy, yellowish-gold with the usual white head. Lacing is very minimal; more like intermittent dashes. Overall appearance is meshing of translucence and cloudiness.
BOUQUET: Watermelon is not noticeable in the aroma. Wheat and citrus notes are, however; this is a wheat beer in addition to being a fruit/vegetable brew. Lemon zest is prominent, and if you strain a bit, a slight pepperiness is traceable as well.
PALATE: Okay, now I sense some watermelon. That said, it is held in restraint. Carbonation hits instantly, increasing until the finish yet remaining manageable. Very thin body for a beer. Mouthfeel is fairly one-dimensional until you swallow, when a prominent lemon rind quality enters the picture to balance the "watermelon seltzer" tone. Grains--even wheat--are not significant taste-wise. Zesty aftertaste that is more lemony then watermelony--if "watermelony" is a word, which I doubt.
MUSINGS AND METAPHORS: With a name like "Hell Or High Watermelon," you would think watermelon is the most noticeable aspect. But that's not the case.
Remember, back in the day, there was a drink called "Sport?" Mountain Dew--or should I say Pepsi-- made it. It was their answer to Gatorade, 10-K, and the other sports drinks of the day. It was even advertised in a commercial where the clock was running out on a football game, and the about-to-be-victorious team was about to dump an entire dispenser of it on their coach. But they reneged, noting, "Nah, it tastes too good." Memories.
That's what this beer reminded me of. It's a spiked thirst quencher, like your standard light beer. Take that light beer, squeeze in some fruit juice, and you're set. No reason to splurge on this at microbrew prices. That said, as with most thirst quenchers, it's not bad; rather amiable, in fact. What's more, is how easily it goes down: Like a drunk--okay I won't go there. I like to use the word, "poundability," instead of "drinkability." Well, the poundability factor here is off the charts; a sixer of this went right through me, although I must admit I'm still not done pissing it out yet.
GRADE: C
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA
BREWERY: Goose Island Beer Company
STYLE: Pale Wheat Ale
ABV: 4.2%
PURCHASE: Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $11.99.
SERVING: 12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Self-contained during dispensation from the bottle, regardless of pour speed. A standard 20-second pour yielded a standard one-inch head; a slower 30-second pour yielded half that. For kicks, I did a ten-second pour on beer #3: Still roughly an inch, maybe a tad less. Retention is laughable.
APPEARANCE: Gorgeous golden-orange color, hazy and translucent. Reflects light beautifully! Paper-white head. Lacing is nonexistent.
BOUQUET: A malted grain-citrus balance for the most part, likely rolled wheat meshed with freshly sliced oranges and lemons. Perhaps a touch of hops. Smells better than it tastes.
PALATE: Well, it's certainly easy on the tongue. Perhaps too easy; it doesn't assert itself. The overall body is fairly light with sneaky carbonation that can sharpen if you let it. A contained, citric sweetness starts things off, but for moment or two, there seems to be almost nothing; a mid-palate that is all but flavorless, like a standard light beer. The finish sees a return to something. A heightened citrus quality emerges, though the mouthfeel at this point is still generally seltzer-like. Coriander and orange zest characterize the aftertaste, which is by far the best part of the drinking experience here. This is a wheat beer, and though detectable in the aroma, it is virtually invisible in the taste.
MUSINGS AND METAPHORS: Blah.
The word that comes to mind, for me, is "Leinie-esque." Nothing personal against any Leinie fans here, but I always found their beers merely agreeable and nothing more. In other words, boring. Mundane. Trite. Banal. Ditto for this one. A wimpy representative of the pale wheat style, but a perfect example of an it'll-do beer. It will, just not much.
GRADE: D+
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA
BREWERY: Brooklyn Brewery
STYLE: English Pale Ale
ABV: 5.0%
PURCHASE: Six-pack (12-oz. bottles), $11.99.
SERVING: 12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. My first pour, always my "standard" 20-second dispensation, resulted in a crown of roughly two inches, with average retention. The slower 30-second, and faster 10-second, seemed to produce the same result, with slight variance.
APPEARANCE: Rusty gold with your everyday white head. Transparent with slight translucence. Sporadic lacing.
BOUQUET: Sports what I call a "50/50" aroma: Roughly equal parts hops and malt. Elusive spice and citrus notes, primarily lemon zest, round things out. Hop factor is floral on the whole.
PALATE: Fairly light body with sneaky, but ultimately benign, carbonation. Has the mouthfeel of a mild ale. Very English. Unassertive, even dormant, front and mid-palate. Then, a yeasty crescendo characterizes the back and finish. Light hops are evident throughout, "light" being the operative word; perhaps "meek" is more like it. The aftertaste is by far the most intriguing feature of this brew: The yeast factor is retained with the added touch of lemon and subtle essences of coriander; on the flip side, it is also slightly seltzerish. A saving grace? Depends how one defines "saving." "Salvaging" grace, perhaps. What is here seems thrown together, instead of expertly brewed. What is more is that the beer doesn't hold well once poured; it becomes somewhat watery after sitting just ten to fifteen minutes. In an air-conditioned room. Keeps a little better if you leave it in the bottle.
MUSINGS AND METAPHORS: It's Brooklyn Summer Ale. Yet it's an English-style beer. Come again?
It's a summer ale. Yet it's an English-style beer. Come again?
It just doesn't seem to fit. Yes, I know they have summers in England. But the imagery doesn't compute for me. The only thing truly "summer-like" about this beer is its reclusive citrus quality. But that doesn't matter so much. What matters is that, while agreeable enough, this was a truly underwhelming brew. The best part of the drinking experience comes after swallowing. Should one drink a beer simply for its aftertaste? Hmmm . . .
I should also add that getting through a six-pack of these is a cinch. Bonus points, I guess. They should change the name of this to "Brooklyn Sufficient Ale," because on the whole, sufficient is all it really was.
GRADE: C
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA
BREWERY: Anheuser-Busch
STYLE: Adjunct Lager
ABV: 5.0%
PURCHASE: Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $20.99.
SERVING: 12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A standard pour yielded an initial head of roughly three inches, that whittled down to under an inch quickly. A slower pour (30 seconds) cut the initial crown to two inches, with the same swift dissipation. Head retention is all but laughable.
APPEARANCE: Crayola should make a new crayon and call it "adjunct straw." Very transparent. This is one of those beers you can hold to your face and watch TV through it. Sports the typical slightly off-white adjunct head. Lacing is essentially nonexistent, at least from the bottle.
BOUQUET: Bready for the most part, even yeasty. No real hop or true malt presence in the nose. Just a generic, streamlined doughy aroma. Not that that's bad.
PALATE: Thin body with seltzer-like carbonation that crescendoes softly. Sweet entry, with a yeasty overall mouthfeel from mid-palate forward. Somewhat ricey finish; this conflicts with my past experiences with Bud, when corn seemed to be the adjunct ingredient of choice. Aftertaste features a trace of hops and nuances of cooked vegetables, but generic yeast and cereal grains--as well as seltzer--still dominate. Smooth as a surfboard, though. Forget "drinkability," the "poundability" factor is high. Sometimes I wonder if adjuncts are worth this degree of analysis.
MUSINGS AND METAPHORS: Bud. The flagship brew of Anheuser-Busch, the quintessential specimen of American macro-banality. (I got dibs on coining that term.) The very definition of a standard, everyday brew. In other words, PBR minus the hipster factor.
Like PBR, it edges many other adjuncts from this continent (e.g. Labatt Blue, Miller High Life, Corona) due to its somewhat fuller flavor. And like PBR, it in turn is edged by other adjuncts from this continent (e.g. Foster's, Molson Canadian, fellow A-B stalwart Michelob) due to their somewhat fuller flavor. And as with PBR, the craft beer snob in me can still respect it, for one simple reason: It knows what it is. Bud doesn't try to be anything that it's not. It knows its role in the beer world, and has mastered it: The ultimate barbecue-and-ballgame brew.
Not that I would overpay for one at an actual ballgame.
GRADE: C
