REVIEW 129: HIPP-O-LANTERN

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  River Horse Brewing Company

STYLE:  Pumpkin Ale

ABV:  8.1%

PURCHASE:  Draft (13-oz.), $5.50

SERVING:  Tulip glass. From the tap, the usual 3/4"-1" head. Decent retention.

APPEARANCE:  Rusted orange body with a beautiful translucent glow to it. Off-white head bordering upon beige. Not much bubbling action--at least none that's visible. Light, scattery lacing.

BOUQUET:  It's a pumpkin ale; take a guess. Okay, it's also a little malty. And it claims to be brewed with molasses, though I personally found this hard to discern. Great aroma just the same.

PALATE:  Slightly heavy body with run-of-the-mill carbonation. Starts a bit sweet and takes on a somewhat fluffy nature mid-palate, just for a moment. Then it segues into a darker finish; this must be the molasses at work. Pumpkin spices (e.g. nutmeg, allspice) are constant. Somewhat piney finish with an aftertaste characterized by brown sugar and continued pumpkin-pie goodness. Well-balanced mouthfeel.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  I find a lot of pumpkin beers to be fad-like; in other words, they seem to pay lip service to the "pumpkin crowd" (white girls?). Generic flavor. Too thin. Too watery. Not enough actual pumpkin character. Not much depth. Too one-dimensional.

This one was none of those things, and I rank it accordingly.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 128: BECK'S

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Germany/USA (As with Foster's, it you're drinking it here, it was brewed here. St. Louis, to be exact.)

BREWERY:  Brauerei Beck & Co.

STYLE:  Pilsener 

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $24.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Standard pour yielded a standard head (little over one inch). A faster pour didn't change that. Mediocre head retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent but slightly hazy. The expected straw-brass color with the expected Alka-Seltzerish white head. Faint but steady bubbling. Lacing almost nonexistent. 

BOUQUET:  Fairly clean, no-frills grainy aroma. A tad floral, but also sports adjunct-like "cooked-veggie" notes. 

PALATE:  Smooth body--for the most part--with easygoing carbonation. Simple, straightforward, and unwavering mouthfeel of mostly generic grain, perhaps a fraction of a note of hops, and indecipherable adjuncts. Agreeable but unexciting taste; nothing grabs you. Off-putting metallic vibe in the aftertaste. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Here's a bit of trivia for you: According to The Accidental Billionaires (the novel on which the film The Social Network is based), this was Mark Zuckerberg's beer of choice while writing the software for FaceMash, the predecessor to Facebook. 

Here's another bit of trivia for you: Although Beck's is originally from Bremen, Germany, it is also brewed in St. Louis, Missouri, the home of Anheuser-Busch. That's right: Like Foster's, if you're drinking it in the USA, it came from the USA and not from its country of origin. No wonder this came off more as a North American adjunct than a European pilsener. Bleh, bleh, and more bleh.




GRADE:  D+

REVIEW 127: JACK-O TRAVELER PUMPKIN SHANDY

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  The Traveler Beer Company

STYLE:  Shandy; Pumpkin Ale; Pale Wheat Ale

ABV:  4.4%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Heady from the bottle regardless of pour speed. A normal pour produced an initial head of over three inches; a slower one roughly one inch less. Good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Hazy and semi-transparent copper-rust body with a slightly off-white head. Very faint bubbling. No lacing.

BOUQUET:  Smells like liquefied pumpkin pie . . . literally. What else would you expect from a beer that calls itself a "pumpkin shandy?" Specifically, though, aside from pumpkin itself, the scent was heavy on spices such as nutmeg and clove, and seemed to add dashes of cinnamon, allspice, and/or something more obscure. 

PALATE:  Well, the taste doesn't quite pack the same punch as did the aroma, in terms of pumpkin. It's there, but somewhat muted until near the finish. It takes a couple beats to assert itself. Very smooth mouthfeel with soft carbonation and a body that's a bit on the light side. Not as full-flavored as it seems it should be; the spice factor, so prominent nasally, is almost nonexistent taste-wise. Finish is a little toasty and malty, leading to an aftertaste that maintains a moderate amount of pumpkin but adds an accompaniment of citrus zest that wasn't evident in the aroma. (The label on the bottle does say it's brewed with lemon peel.) 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  If you had never heard of the Traveler Beer Company, you would likely think this came from Magic Hat. And why not? Both breweries are from Vermont, the same state that gave us Ben & Jerry's. Those Vermonters and their alternative tastes. 

I love Ben & Jerry's. This? Eh . . .




GRADE:  C+

REVIEW 126: TRICK OR TREAT

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Evil Genius Beer Company

STYLE:  Porter

ABV:  7.8%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $14.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour produced an initial head of roughly four full inches. A slow pour slashed it down to roughly an inch and a half. Very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Semi-transparent body, with a ruby-burgundy color. Spongy and very tightly packed beige head. Moderate bubbling and lacing that is initially splotchy but more consistent with repeated servings.

BOUQUET:  Comes as advertised: Cocoa and pumpkin spices are at the helm. Nutmeg is prominent. You can effectively make out a pie crust. A deep whiff will leave an impression of the whole pumpkin pie in your passageways. Slightly nutty--placebo effect?

PALATE:  For a porter, this has a fairly thin and slightly watery body. Carbonation is soft and slow to assert itself. Pumpkin flavor is all but nonexistent save for some slight notes in the aftertaste. Toasted grains and moderate degrees of bitter chocolate characterize the early and mid-palate; in fact, the "toasted" factor is the through-line here. Somewhat coffee-like finish, with a continued but more suppressed cocoa presence. Overall, a palate that is amiable but ultimately not fully fleshed out; lacks a little punch.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This beer is called "Trick or Treat." And it was both. It was certainly a trick, because it was supposed to be a chocolate-pumpkin porter. To Crockett, it tasted like a . . . porter. Put a blindfold on me at the beginning of tonight's session, without mentioning the name of this beer, and I must admit, I would not have thought this was specifically a "chocolate-pumpkin" porter. Chocolate, maybe. But not pumpkin. 

This brew comes from the Evil Genius Beer Company in Philly. But this beer is not genius. That said, it's not evil, either. I rank it accordingly.




GRADE:  C+

Nice pumpkins. Too bad I barely tasted any in this beer.

REVIEW 125: EXIT 4

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Flying Fish Brewing Company

STYLE:  Tripel

ABV:  9.5%

PURCHASE:  Draft (13-oz.), $7.00

SERVING:  Tulip glass. Initially over a full inch of head from the tap. Good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Glowing golden body with an effervescent, spongy white head. Bubbling not particularly visible. Very good lacing around the glass.

BOUQUET:  Meshing of malt, citrus, hops, and numerous spices, particularly cloves. A hint of banana. High aromatic alcohol presence.

PALATE:  If ever there were a beer with a discrepancy between aroma and taste, this is it. Perplexing to say the least. Though evident in the smell, taste-wise I had trouble making out any citrus or banana. The theme of this beer is sweetness; it starts sweet, continues sweet, finishes sweet, and lingers afterward . . . sweet. It's dextrin-happy. And the sweetness factor slightly crescendos toward the end. Fusel alcohol finish with a warming sensation, which also sees a rise in yeast and hops (though not on a pale ale level). The "far" aftertaste is somewhat spicy, as in a witbier: Cloves and coriander, with a possible touch of pepper. However, all of this is overwhelmed by the sweetness of the malt and dextrins. Tripels are supposed to sport some bitterness; this one had none. The overall taste is still agreeable; it's just lacks dimension. Thankfully, it doesn't take much effort to get through one of these; it doesn't have a very heavy body for a beer of almost 10% alcohol. Moreover, the carbonation, though prominent, remains manageable.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  In 2009, Flying Fish began releasing various beers named after exits on the New Jersey Turnpike. Hence the name "Exit 4." (In real life, departing the turnpike from this exit will land you in Mt. Laurel, near the Moorestown Mall.) You may also notice they employ the alternative spelling of tripel, "trippel," with two "p"s. Just a note, not a criticism.

This is one of those beers that fleshes out a bit as you continue to drink it. Perhaps it's the tulip glass at work: The early going of each serving seemed sharp, whereas the latter half took on a slightly more rounded nature. That's good, but it makes for limited appeal. 

Want a truly world-class tripel? Go with St. Bernardus, or another highly reputable abbey brewery from Belgium, the country credited with originating this style. This one is more on the level of Victory's Golden Monkey, if even that; solid but unspectacular. Eh.




GRADE:  C+

REVIEW 124: SPATEN OKTOBERFEST

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Germany

BREWERY:  Spaten-Franziskaner Bräu

STYLE:  Märzen

ABV:  5.9%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $6.50

SERVING:  Pint glass. Standard head of roughly three-quarter inches from the tap on both servings. Average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Dark amber-copper body with a wispy off-white head. Beautifully translucent. Outstanding lacing.

BOUQUET:  Mostly sweet malt but with noticeable presences of dark fruit, appleskin, caramel, and bitter chocolate. Subtle hints of spice, seemingly cinnamon.

PALATE:  Moderate body with easygoing carbonation. Overall mouthfeel is roasty, and gets a bit roastier towards the rich finish. Malty in the early going, but things are rounded out at the back: Dark fruit and apple notes at the finish, and an aftertaste that seems to start on an accent of toffee before seguing into bitter chocolate at the very, very end. An ever so slight touch of cinnamon seems present at that juncture as well.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  There are six breweries that have officially supplied "Oktoberfestbier" to Oktoberfest in Germany since 1818, and Spaten is one of them. It's nice to see such an historic brewery live up to its name. 

With all due respect to Sam's version, this is an upgrade.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 123: KEYSTONE ICE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Coors Brewing Company

STYLE:  Ice Beer/Adjunct Lager

ABV:  5.9%

PURCHASE:  30-pack of 12-oz. cans, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. can, poured into pint glass. With a normal pour, an initial head of roughly three inches. A slow pour cut that in half, more or less. Surprisingly decent retention.

APPEARANCE:  Adjunct straw, as I like to call it, with the usual white head. Prominent bubbling. Absolutely zero lacing on the first serving, then random splotches on the second, using the same glass.

BOUQUET:  Ahhh . . . adjuncts. That unmistakable "wet sponge/clean metal" aroma. To be fair, I think I picked a note of grassy hops and perhaps a speck of yeast. Probably via chemical engineering.

PALATE:  Middle-of-the-road body texture with carbonation that is not as forceful as you might expect. A fusel-alcohol nasal quality accompanies each sip. Straight-ahead and unwavering palate until the aftertaste, during which there is a slight uptick in yeast. So generic, in fact, that for all I know it was brewed from loaves of white bread. Goes down like a flat soft drink. A taste that is tolerable but nothing more; almost completely devoid of any real character. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  I get it now. Now I understand why the frat boys at Penn State chose Natty.

Because it's better than Keystone.




GRADE:  F

REVIEW 122: LA FIN DU MONDE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Canada

BREWERY:  Unibroue

STYLE:  Tripel

ABV:  9.0%

PURCHASE:  Four-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $14.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into tulip glass (pictured below). Standard 20-sec. pour--slow in this case, since it's a smaller tulip glass--resulted in only about a half-inch initial head, which dissipated rather quickly. For the second beer, I switched to the Chimay branded chalice (pictured above). The difference: A spongy, dense head of almost two full inches, with very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Translucent, hazy body with an apricot-orange color. Off-white tinted head. Steady, "narrow" bubbling in the tulip; a little more pronounced--and concentrated--in the Chimay chalice. Minimal lacing, if you want to call it "lacing."

BOUQUET:  Bready and malty for the most part. With a deep whiff, you will pick up spice notes like coriander and clove--which gives the aroma a witbier quality. Yeasty as well, with a tease of citrus.

PALATE:  At first, carbonation was very quick to assert itself, and very biting. In the Chimay chalice, it was still prominent and more mellow. Slightly heavy mouthfeel. Settles down as the beer sits. Front palate actually seems shallow in terms of what I call "actual beer qualities." Things pick up at mid-palate, with spice notes entering the fray and slowly gaining in presence. Fusel-like finish--though not as in a malt liquor--leading to an aftertaste with an even more pronounced spice factor; I'd even call it peppery. Hop bitterness is not something you would closely associate with a tripel, but there seems to be a bit of it at the very end here.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Tonight's session was a lesson in the role of glassware in the beer-drinking experience. The first bottle, which I poured into the tulip, was sharp and aggressive, though it eventually mellowed out. The second bottle, poured into the Chimay chalice, was mellow right from the get-go. The carbonation was still conspicuous, but it didn't overtake my mouth.

Whatever. It's the taste that matters, and this is top-tier. Quebec seems to be a major player in the craft beer scene these days, and with Unibroue, it's easy to see why.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 121: 90 MINUTE IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Dogfish Head Craft Brewery

STYLE:  Imperial IPA

ABV:  9.0%

PURCHASE:  Four-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into tulip glass. A standard pour (15-20 seconds) produced a head of roughly an inch and a half. A faster one (roughly 10 seconds) got closer to two inches. Very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Hazy and translucent. Rusty copper/burnt orange color, with an off-white head. Steadly, slow bubbling from the bottom of the tulip. Prominent and slightly wavy lacing.

BOUQUET:  Hops, as with any IPA, are most noticeable, but here they are tempered and rounded out by primarily three other aromas: Roasted malt; traces of citrus, likely lemon and grapefruit; and, surprisingly, dark fruit, likely fig and raisin. Honestly smells like an abbey ale from Belgium.

PALATE:  Moderate body--although it's fairly light for a beer with a 9.0% ABV. Carbonation starts softly, then crescendos steadily and consistently and will only become sharp if held for an unreasonably long time. Hops are a constant presence, as you'd expect, but are only truly conspicuous from mid-palate onward. Rich finish and aftertaste, with, again, strong notes of fig and possibly raisin. (This can't be a placebo thing, can it?) Light touches of lemon and grapefruit--and maybe even a little orange--are evident at the very end. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Tonight, believe it or not, was the first time I ever had the 90 Minute IPA. I've had the 60 numerous times, and the 120 on one or two occasions. But for some reason, I never got around to the 90 until tonight. And if I had been blindfolded, I would have thought this was from Belgium. That's how expertly crafted it is.

Many consider this the best IPA in America. They might be right, though Pliny may have something to say about that. In any case, this is a truly elite brew.




GRADE:  A+

I don't know this girl.

REVIEW 120: LABATT BLUE (REVISITED)

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Canada

BREWERY:  Labatt Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $3.00

SERVING:  Labatt Blue branded pint glass. Tap yielded an initial head of roughly half an inch, which promptly disappeared.

APPEARANCE:  Adjunct straw-brass, with a whittling white head. Little bubbling for a mass-produced adjunct. No lacing.

BOUQUET:  Typical "mostly clean" aroma one would associate with a macrolager. Placebo-like notes of malt and hops, but rice and "cooked-veggie" notes are front and center. Yeah, that's what I look for in a brew!

PALATE:  Slightly light body with fairly quick carbonation. Other than that, well . . . I taste . . . adjuncts . . . a little yeast . . . a little generic grain . . . some water. I can pick up a little more yeast in the aftertaste. Seltzer-like mouthfeel--the calling card of a mediocre adjunct lager.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Bleh, bleh, and more bleh. This is one of the most unexciting and uninteresting beers in North America. It doesn't matter whether it's from a bottle, can, or keg. Its only redeemable qualities are that it's easy to drink and isn't skunky. Wow. Mad bombshit props for that.

Maybe it was better back in the Pam era.




ORIGINAL GRADE:  D+
NEW GRADE:  D