REVIEW 136: BELGIAN FREEZE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:   River Horse Brewing Company

STYLE:  Winter Warmer

ABV:  8.0%

PURCHASE:  Draft (13-oz.), $5.50

SERVING:  Tulip glass. From the tap, a pretty standard head of roughly one inch. Mediocre retention.

APPEARANCE:  Translucent and gorgeous auburn-caramel body with an off-white head. No visible bubbling and zero lacing.

BOUQUET:  Banana and dark fruit--namely fig and raisin--above all else. Malty with no real hop presence--at least not aromatically. Significant caramel, with hints of clove and even what seems to be pumpkin spice. Has a ginger snap quality to it.

PALATE:  Slightly heavy mouthfeel with carbonation that goes from 0 to 60 in just a few seconds. Lacks depth and dimension, particularly up front, where it's a bit piney. More rounded at the finish, but only incrementally. The aftertaste is richer, with increased caramel, dark fruit, and spice notes, as well as a slight hop uptick. Enough to salvage an underwhelming start, but what might have been . . .

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This is a hard beer to categorize. Beer Advocate calls it a "Belgian dark ale." But I think that's wrong. It has too high an ABV, for one thing. Then there's the Christmasy, seasonally spicey aspect to it. I don't care if it has the word "Belgian" in the name; this is a winter warmer. So it's actually more English than Belgian. 

Regardless of what beer category you assign it, this is a beer with an aroma that seems to promise so much, but leads to a taste that delivers, well, less than that. Not one of River Horse's best.




GRADE:  C

REVIEW 135: MILLER GENUINE DRAFT

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Miller Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.7%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $20.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour resulted in a normal one-inch head. A faster pour doubled that; a slower one got a little less. Average retention. I know you're excited.

APPEARANCE:  See-through adjunct straw-brass color, with the typical white head. Faster than average bubbling action and surprisingly decent lacing.

BOUQUET:  Grassy, somewhat ricey, and generically grainy, with a hints of corn and faintly floral hops. Truthfully, it smells like a keg; that must be why it's called "Miller Genuine Draft."

PALATE:  Extremely easy to drink; this is the hallmark of a beer with mass appeal. It's a thirst-quencher and will not leave your throat dry. Standard carbonation in a slightly lighter-than-average body. Mouthfeel is fairly clean early on, save for a shy hop note. Gets a bit grainier mid-palate. Somewhat yeasty finish that's characterized by corn and more cereal grain notes. Aftertaste is mainly more of the same, with a small dose of seltzer. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  As average a drinking experience as exists. For an adjunct, though, that's good.

Introduced in 1985 as a beer that replicated that fresh-from-the-tap taste of Miller High Life. That's right: This is basically the same recipe as the "Champagne of Beers." So why was it rechristened "Miller Genuine Draft?" Because it's cold-filtered, instead of heat-pasteurized. That's it. 

You know what "MGD" more commonly stands for? Machine generated data. It also stands for "millions of gallons per day," as a unit of flow measurement. It's also the international code for Magdalena Airport in Bolivia. Read my beer reviews and learn.




GRADE:  C-

REVIEW 134: ICELANDIC TOASTED PORTER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Iceland

BREWERY:  Einstök Ölgerð

STYLE:  Porter

ABV:  6.0%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 11.2-oz. bottles, $15.99

SERVING:  11.2-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour produced a roughly two-inch head. A slower pour got only a little less. Better than average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Opaque and almost pitch-black with a tan-beige head. No bubbling visible for obvious reasons. Lacing is minimal and scattered. 

BOUQUET:  Coffee, chocolate, and malt for the most part. (Hey, that rhymes.) Or should I say, coffee and chocolate malt for the most part. A faint hop note is makeable, as is some type of fruit or berry. (I cheated and looked it up. It's bilberry, a sort of European blueberry which is close to a blackberry, but is nonetheless nobody's berry but its own.)

PALATE:  Fairly normal body and level of carbonation. Makes for smooth drinking--which isn't necessarily a given with a porter. Not overly rich. Coffee notes dominate the early going, with an ever so slight hop tinge. Chocolate malt fades in at the back. The coffee flavor remains but subsides the rest of the way. Malt notes become mildly roasty, yet with no significant bitterness, in the aftertaste, with a fair amount of yeast rounding things out. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  The Republic of Iceland makes its debut on Crockett's Cold Ones with this American-style porter from Einstök Ölgerð. How do you pronounce that? We'll start with the "ö," which is sounded as if it were German: A cross between a long "o" and long "u" in English. "Ei" is pronounced as if it were a long "a" in English, "e" in the same manner. Then there's that last letter, which I'm willing to bet most of you have never seen before: "ð." That's uttered as if it were the English "th," as in "the," "this," or "that." Put it all together, and you get AIN-stök ÖL-gairth, if that's the correct way to phonetically write it out. What's it mean? "Einstök" can mean either "individual" or "unsurpassed." "Ölgerð" means "ale brewery," "öl" literally translating to "ale" in English. That's your Icelandic lesson for today, boys and girls.

What a lot of people also don't know is that beer was almost entirely banned from Iceland for most of the twentieth century, due to popular referendum in 1908, taking effect in 1915. In fact, that referendum banned all alcohol until it was partially lifted in 1921 due to trade disputes with Spain and Portugal and the ensuing economic ramifications. Another referendum followed in 1933, further lifting the ban, albeit again only partially: Beer could now be bought, sold, and consumed again, but only if it were, at most, 2.25% ABV. In other words, you were basically stuck with shitty light beer.

It would not be until March 1, 1989--now celebrated annually as "Beer Day"--that the ban was lifted entirely and permanently. Since then, Iceland has seen its hard liquor consumption decline and its beer consumption rise to takes its place. Breweries have sprung up all over the island country. And while this beer doesn't quite live up to its maker's name translated to English--"unsurpassed ale brewery"--it remains a testament to the considerable progress Icelandic brewers have made.




GRADE:  B

REVIEW 133: MAD ELF

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Tröegs Brewing Company

STYLE:  Strong Dark Ale

ABV:  11.0% (You read that right.)

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $19.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into Watou branded snifter. There is almost no head with this beer from the bottle, unless you pour it abnormally fast. Even then, it disappears in seconds. Want head? Shake it!

APPEARANCE:  Ruby-burgundy color with a tan head--when it's there. Could pass for cognac or even bourbon if not for the minor bubble action. No lacing whatsoever. Perhaps a pint glass would change that--but this isn't a beer you drink from a pint glass.

BOUQUET:  Smells like a cherry orchard. More specifically, smells like a cherry orchard situated right next to a wheat field. Or a barley field, I guess. This is also brewed with honey, according to the label, but it's much, much less conspicuous. Strain and you might, as I did, pick up a hint of chocolate malt. Vague spice notes are detectable as well, but are difficult to pinpoint; I'm guessing--maybe, maybe--allspice, or maybe a touch of nutmeg and/or cinnamon. I can't make out anything else.

PALATE:  Gently carbonated with a moderate to slightly heavy body--it is, after all, a beer with an ABV in the double digits. The theme of this beer, boys and girls, is cherry. Entry is a little malty, but mainly characterized by cherry. Mid-palate retains some malt throughline, but is nonetheless mainly characterized by cherry. A toasted grain factor enters the picture at the boozy finish, which is still mainly characterized by cherry. The aftertaste is the most complex aspect of the sipping experience here: Still heavily leaning toward the cherry notes, but with some balance toward some toasted malt, seemingly of a chocolate variety. There are hops in here, but they are suppressed to the point where they are untraceable. The label advertised that this was brewed with honey, and it was at this point that I finally noticed it. You know what else I noticed? Alcohol. This seriously finishes as if it were brandy or even bourbon. That's not a complaint, just an observation.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Are elves really into cherries this much? Wow. But hey, that's not a criticism. It works here.

But in all honesty, the Mad Elf could use some more depth and dimension. It could also use some guidance. This is a beer hugely influenced by cherries. Is it supposed to be a kriek? Or is it a strong dark ale in the Belgian tradition, as advertised? The answer to that latter question is yes, in one sense: It's certainly strong. It has an alcohol factor that will sneak up on you if you're not careful. But the taste is markedly better than average. 




GRADE:  B+

REVIEW 132: FESTBIER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Victory Brewing Company

STYLE:  Märzen

ABV:  5.6%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $14.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour yielded an initial head of roughly 2 1/2 inches. Not much variance in head size with respect to speed of pour; a slower pour did cut away an inch, but a faster one didn't really add any. Great retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent but slightly hazy amber-copper body. Head is a light cream color. Steady bubbling. Thin and inconsistent lacing.

BOUQUET:  Pleasantly balanced between malt and hops, both of which are mild relative to the notes of dark fruit and confectionery cocoa or fudge that seem to jump at you. Scent rounded out by tea leaves and orange spice. Not sure if this is smells like a true Oktoberfest beer.

PALATE:  Not sure if this tastes like a true Oktoberfest beer either; in fact, it could almost pass for a Belgian. Dark fruit essences immediately set in upon entry. Mildly hoppy mid-palate, followed by a blending-in of sorts from notes of cocoa and malt at the finish. Multi-dimensional aftertaste one of orange rind and tea, complemented by lingering burnt malt/grain.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  It seems you can't go wrong with anything from Victory, and the Festbier reinforces this notion. That said, it doesn't seem to ideally represent the Oktoberfest--or Märzen--style. A lot of these beers do indeed have notes of chocolate, but of the bitter variety; this one's chocolate factor was cut from the Belgian abbey/European confectionery cloth.

Then there was the tang at the very end of each sip. I'm not complaining--tang is good. But again, it prompted me to ask if I was really drinking a true Oktoberfest, which is proving to be a very eclectic category for me, and hence one that is difficult to pinpoint in terms of common characteristics. Oh well. What difference does it make if I nonetheless enjoyed the beer? 

On another note, I don't remember ever actually drinking Tang as a kid.




GRADE:  B+

REVIEW 131: STONE IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Stone Brewing

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  6.9%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $5.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Ideal 1-1.25" head from the tap. Excellent retention.

APPEARANCE:  Beautiful caramel-gold body on this beer, with a bright and luminescent white head. Narrow but steady bubbling. Semi-transparent. Outstanding lacing.

BOUQUET:  (Take a guess.) Hops. And citrus. BUT . . . hints of malt and more than subtle note of caramel with this one. Not a placebo thing.

PALATE:  A little heavy with expected carbonation. Hoppy, but very well tempered with caramel, malt, and some citrus notes. Hop bitterness characterizes the early going, whereas malt sweetness rises in the finish and lingers afterward, a little too much. Otherwise, this is one of the more expertly crafted palates you'll find on an American IPA. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Introduced in 1997, supposedly this is the IPA that convinced many an American beer drinker to go full-on hophead. 

Is it the original American IPA? I can't say with certainty. But it almost certainly spawned many an imitator, even within the same brewery. Check out Stone's lineup. It seems roughly one out of every three or four beers they offer is an IPA of some sort. Hops are addictive, man. I guess that's why Stone is now the fifteenth largest brewery in the United States. 

I would agree they owe their success in no small part to their original, classic, "west-coast" IPA. What makes it "west coast?" More hops and more alcohol content (supposedly). Another percentage point, and this would be more of an imperial IPA. But who cares? It's the taste that matters, and despite its scores of imitators, this hasn't been bested my many of them.




GRADE:  A

This year marks the 20th anniversary of the establishment of Stone Brewing.

REVIEW 130: MILLER HIGH LIFE (REVISITED)

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Miller Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.6%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $3.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Standard 1/2-3/4" head from the tap with average to slightly worse than average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Typical adjunct straw color with the usual sudsy white head. Moderate bubbling visible. Lacing is initially inconsistent and shy, but becomes more prominent and continuous with repeated servings in the same glass.

BOUQUET:  Simple aroma that's actually somewhat complex for an American macrolager. Husky with a heavy cereal malt presence. A trace of floral hops. 

PALATE:  A little filling for a beer that's under 5%. Carbonation is quick to set in, but not overly aggressive. As the scent indicated, it's husky and grainy from start to finish, seemingly with a trace of, again, floral hops. Very even mouthfeel from start to dry, yeasty finish. Aftertaste is more of the same. Loses luster and becomes a bit more seltzery as it warms. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  First time I ever had this on draft. Save the date!

I can't think of any North American mass-produced lager, particularly adjunct lager, that will ever wow a beer snob such as Yours Truly. But this is one of the better ones out there. At the end of the day, it's an average beer. And for this category of brew, average is decent. 




ORIGINAL GRADE:  C-
NEW GRADE:  C