REVIEW 123: KEYSTONE ICE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Coors Brewing Company

STYLE:  Ice Beer/Adjunct Lager

ABV:  5.9%

PURCHASE:  30-pack of 12-oz. cans, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. can, poured into pint glass. With a normal pour, an initial head of roughly three inches. A slow pour cut that in half, more or less. Surprisingly decent retention.

APPEARANCE:  Adjunct straw, as I like to call it, with the usual white head. Prominent bubbling. Absolutely zero lacing on the first serving, then random splotches on the second, using the same glass.

BOUQUET:  Ahhh . . . adjuncts. That unmistakable "wet sponge/clean metal" aroma. To be fair, I think I picked a note of grassy hops and perhaps a speck of yeast. Probably via chemical engineering.

PALATE:  Middle-of-the-road body texture with carbonation that is not as forceful as you might expect. A fusel-alcohol nasal quality accompanies each sip. Straight-ahead and unwavering palate until the aftertaste, during which there is a slight uptick in yeast. So generic, in fact, that for all I know it was brewed from loaves of white bread. Goes down like a flat soft drink. A taste that is tolerable but nothing more; almost completely devoid of any real character. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  I get it now. Now I understand why the frat boys at Penn State chose Natty.

Because it's better than Keystone.




GRADE:  F

REVIEW 122: LA FIN DU MONDE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Canada

BREWERY:  Unibroue

STYLE:  Tripel

ABV:  9.0%

PURCHASE:  Four-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $14.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into tulip glass (pictured below). Standard 20-sec. pour--slow in this case, since it's a smaller tulip glass--resulted in only about a half-inch initial head, which dissipated rather quickly. For the second beer, I switched to the Chimay branded chalice (pictured above). The difference: A spongy, dense head of almost two full inches, with very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Translucent, hazy body with an apricot-orange color. Off-white tinted head. Steady, "narrow" bubbling in the tulip; a little more pronounced--and concentrated--in the Chimay chalice. Minimal lacing, if you want to call it "lacing."

BOUQUET:  Bready and malty for the most part. With a deep whiff, you will pick up spice notes like coriander and clove--which gives the aroma a witbier quality. Yeasty as well, with a tease of citrus.

PALATE:  At first, carbonation was very quick to assert itself, and very biting. In the Chimay chalice, it was still prominent and more mellow. Slightly heavy mouthfeel. Settles down as the beer sits. Front palate actually seems shallow in terms of what I call "actual beer qualities." Things pick up at mid-palate, with spice notes entering the fray and slowly gaining in presence. Fusel-like finish--though not as in a malt liquor--leading to an aftertaste with an even more pronounced spice factor; I'd even call it peppery. Hop bitterness is not something you would closely associate with a tripel, but there seems to be a bit of it at the very end here.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Tonight's session was a lesson in the role of glassware in the beer-drinking experience. The first bottle, which I poured into the tulip, was sharp and aggressive, though it eventually mellowed out. The second bottle, poured into the Chimay chalice, was mellow right from the get-go. The carbonation was still conspicuous, but it didn't overtake my mouth.

Whatever. It's the taste that matters, and this is top-tier. Quebec seems to be a major player in the craft beer scene these days, and with Unibroue, it's easy to see why.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 121: 90 MINUTE IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Dogfish Head Craft Brewery

STYLE:  Imperial IPA

ABV:  9.0%

PURCHASE:  Four-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into tulip glass. A standard pour (15-20 seconds) produced a head of roughly an inch and a half. A faster one (roughly 10 seconds) got closer to two inches. Very good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Hazy and translucent. Rusty copper/burnt orange color, with an off-white head. Steadly, slow bubbling from the bottom of the tulip. Prominent and slightly wavy lacing.

BOUQUET:  Hops, as with any IPA, are most noticeable, but here they are tempered and rounded out by primarily three other aromas: Roasted malt; traces of citrus, likely lemon and grapefruit; and, surprisingly, dark fruit, likely fig and raisin. Honestly smells like an abbey ale from Belgium.

PALATE:  Moderate body--although it's fairly light for a beer with a 9.0% ABV. Carbonation starts softly, then crescendos steadily and consistently and will only become sharp if held for an unreasonably long time. Hops are a constant presence, as you'd expect, but are only truly conspicuous from mid-palate onward. Rich finish and aftertaste, with, again, strong notes of fig and possibly raisin. (This can't be a placebo thing, can it?) Light touches of lemon and grapefruit--and maybe even a little orange--are evident at the very end. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Tonight, believe it or not, was the first time I ever had the 90 Minute IPA. I've had the 60 numerous times, and the 120 on one or two occasions. But for some reason, I never got around to the 90 until tonight. And if I had been blindfolded, I would have thought this was from Belgium. That's how expertly crafted it is.

Many consider this the best IPA in America. They might be right, though Pliny may have something to say about that. In any case, this is a truly elite brew.




GRADE:  A+

I don't know this girl.

REVIEW 120: LABATT BLUE (REVISITED)

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Canada

BREWERY:  Labatt Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $3.00

SERVING:  Labatt Blue branded pint glass. Tap yielded an initial head of roughly half an inch, which promptly disappeared.

APPEARANCE:  Adjunct straw-brass, with a whittling white head. Little bubbling for a mass-produced adjunct. No lacing.

BOUQUET:  Typical "mostly clean" aroma one would associate with a macrolager. Placebo-like notes of malt and hops, but rice and "cooked-veggie" notes are front and center. Yeah, that's what I look for in a brew!

PALATE:  Slightly light body with fairly quick carbonation. Other than that, well . . . I taste . . . adjuncts . . . a little yeast . . . a little generic grain . . . some water. I can pick up a little more yeast in the aftertaste. Seltzer-like mouthfeel--the calling card of a mediocre adjunct lager.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Bleh, bleh, and more bleh. This is one of the most unexciting and uninteresting beers in North America. It doesn't matter whether it's from a bottle, can, or keg. Its only redeemable qualities are that it's easy to drink and isn't skunky. Wow. Mad bombshit props for that.

Maybe it was better back in the Pam era.




ORIGINAL GRADE:  D+
NEW GRADE:  D

REVIEW 119: SAMUEL ADAMS REBEL IPA

Yes, it reads, "Boston Lager." But it's Rebel IPA.

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Boston Beer Company

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  6.5%

PURCHASE:  Draft (22-oz.), $6.75

SERVING:  Samuel Adams branded specialty imperial pint glass. Standard inch-high head from the tap. Decent but unspectacular retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent golden-copper body with the usual white head. Very bubbly and very good, if uneven, lacing.

BOUQUET:  It's an IPA. But . . . this one is not all hops. Very well balanced aroma with pleasant complements of malt, citrus, yeast, and caramel. Nothing an experienced beer drinker hasn't smelt before, but worthy of a nod of affirmation just the same. 

PALATE:  Medium to slightly heavy body. Conspicuous carbonation that, if held too long, will increase rather sharply. Hops--reportedly five different varieties--are front and center, as you'd expect. But this is one of those IPAs that knows when to pull back. And it's multidimensional:  Citrus (mainly grapefruit, but some lemon and orange) notes are increasingly prevalent toward the finish, and the aftertaste equally piney and yeasty with touches of malt and caramel. As with the aroma, very well balanced.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Underrated by most of the online beer snob community; I would rate this even higher if not for the overtly biting carbonation in the early going of each sip. 

For a long time, I have struggled to find a beer from the Sam lineup, aside from Latitude 48, that rivals the flagship Boston Lager. Well, mission accomplished.



GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 118: PAUWEL KWAK

Not the usual glass of choice for Kwak.

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Belgium

BREWERY:  Brouwerij Bosteels

STYLE:  Strong Ale

ABV:  8.4%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $11.50

SERVING:  Pint glass--disappointing, as I was looking forward to the distinctive "Kwak" glass. The bartender said they were out of them. In the pint and from the tap, this had no head at all on the first beer, and literally one wispy layer on the second, which promptly vanished as you can probably imagine. WTF?

APPEARANCE:  Burnt/rusty copper body that looks more like apple cider than beer, especially with the absence of head. Transparent but bordering upon translucent. No visible bubbling and no lacing either.

BOUQUET:  No complaints here. Fruity and malty with a bit of floral hop presence for good measure. Hints at spice--seems to be orange zest more than anything else--as well as other hefeweizen-style aromas like banana. Perhaps a bit of caramel.

PALATE:  Medium to slightly heavy body with average carbonation. Dark fruit is most prominent up front, giving way to a malty mid-palate. Hops are minimal. Finish brings on rising banana and orange zest notes--I was right--combined with other "hefe-spices" like clove and coriander. Rich and yeasty aftertaste that seems characterized by appleskin.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Truthfully, a bit of a letdown. And not just because I didn't get to drink out of the famed--or infamous?--Kwak glass.

The NFL season kicked off tonight, so here's the analogy I'll use: Jimmy Garoppolo. Who is Jimmy Garoppolo? He's the starting quarterback for the New England Patriots . . . until Tom Brady returns from his suspension. So far, in limited action, Garoppolo has looked promising, and he broke Tony Romo's school records while under center for Eastern Illinois. The Patriots will likely still win more than they lose with Garoppolo calling the signals. But he still ain't Brady.

And Pauwel Kwak is no St. Bernardus.




GRADE:  B-

REVIEW 117: SHOCK TOP TWISTED PRETZEL WHEAT

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Anheuser-Busch

STYLE:  Dark Wheat Ale

ABV:  5.2%

PURCHASE:  Draft (60-oz. pitcher), $10.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. A normal pour yielded slightly less than a normal head (half an inch or so). A faster pour yielded an initial head of roughly five times that; a slower one, only about a quarter of an inch. Head is wispy and does not retain itself well. 

APPEARANCE:  Opaque, mahogany color with an off-white head. Not much in the way of visible bubbling and very little lacing.

BOUQUET:  Smells more like toasted wheat than actual pretzels; pretzel is in there, but it's more of a placebo thing. A little nutty, and it seems to tease you with evasive notes of banana and caramel. 

PALATE:  Carbonation is soft and timid, particularly for a beer of this style. Average body. Doesn't really assert itself until mid-palate, when a mild salt note takes hold. Bready and wheaty; flavor comes off more as mildly salted wheat dough than actual pretzels. Slight "cooked-veggie" notes in the aftertaste--which is what mainstream North American macrolagers are known for. But I swore I picked up some caramel and/or banana in there as well. Just a very, very little bit.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Shock Top, more or less, is the craft beer division of Anheuser-Busch. Introduced ten years ago, the line's first entry was its flagship Belgian White, arguably the best beer in the entire A-B lineup. 

As for this particular Shock Top, it's a lukewarm representation of pretzels. As a beer, it's spot-on average. That said, average is above average for our friends at A-B.




GRADE:  C