REVIEW 68: MICHELOB ULTRA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Anheuser-Busch

STYLE:  Light Lager

ABV:  4.2%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $25.23.

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. The standard pour gives initially a standard one-inch head, but it doesn't last. A faster pour didn't really do any better. Piss-poor retention.

APPEARANCE:  Adjunct straw! White head! Bubbles! You can see through it!

BOUQUET:  Slightly husky, but there's not really much here. Hints of corn, yeast, and generic vegetables. Emphasis on the word "hints." Although I did detect a strong water presence.

PALATE:  Seltzery, with a razor-thin body and carbonation like a watered-down Coke or Pepsi. As with the aroma, there is just not much here aside from a slight huskiness in the overall mouthfeel, and perhaps a cooked-veggie or corn note. Dry, yeasty finish that leaves very, very little aftertaste.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This is typically an offering at any bar or chain restaurant. Nine times out of ten--bare minimum--it's the worst beer in the lineup. That says it all.

Does it taste bad? No, though it's clearly a long, long way, from good. But it doesn't pack the punch of even your common light beer; rather, it's almost as if someone once accidentally spilled a Bud Light into another person's club soda at an Anheuser-Busch company party, and the club soda drinker just happened to be an exec. He then decided to taste it for sheer kicks, a light bulb went off in his head, and . . .

You really want to cut down on carbs? Don't drink beer. Simple.




GRADE:  F

". . . with an 'F' in this course!"