REVIEW 10: COLT 45 MALT LIQUOR

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Pabst Brewing Company

STYLE:  Malt Liquor

ABV:  5.6%

PURCHASE:  40-oz. bottle, $4.00

SERVING:  Said "40," poured into pint glass. Slow pour yielded a (more or less) standard 3/4" head with moderate retention. The second pour was roughly twice the speed, though still conservative, and resulted in three solid inches. An even (but only slightly) faster pour in Round 3 produced head that took up more than half the glass. I can only imagine that pouring this at tap speed would give you more head than a crack whore from Kensington.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent straw color, though not as light as most standard North American adjuncts. Leaves very good lacing around the glass, if you can believe it.

BOUQUET:  Fairly clean, considering what it is. Somewhat bready, somewhat malty. Grainy, but generically so. Lacks the "cooked-veggie" element notable in many cheap brews, but does feature what I call a "clean metal" aroma. Hey, metal doesn't smell bad. Not when it's clean.

PALATE:  Smooth--no joke. Subdued carbonation from start to finish. A light-beer-styled front and mid-palate, followed by a finish that brings cooked-veggie essences--not detectable in the nose--to the forefront; namely, corn. (This is common in cheap macrobeers and malt liquors from this country.) Aftertaste features a slightly biting, punctuating, but limited, bitterness. Also, alcohol seems to fumigate from the tongue a bit after each sip--blink and you'll miss it. Overall mouthfeel and taste are agreeable enough, but it gets blander as it warms. Yet drinkability is easy. Ironic? 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:   "If it's good enough for Lando Calrissian, it's good enough for me." Well, not quite. This is obviously not a connoisseur's beer. But not all malt liquors suck. While I have yet to find one I can honestly call "good," there have been a couple I would certainly label, well, "passable," at least. This one even borders upon "average." Seriously, it ain't half bad. It's actually preferable to most standard "light" beers, as well as many other American adjuncts. Works every time? You bet. This never fails to make me have to take a piss.





GRADE:  C-

POSTSCRIPT:  Did you know that Billy Dee Williams is not the only famous actor to appear in commercials hawking Colt 45? I'm sure most of you will recognize the "bartender" and former "relief pitcher for the Boston Red Sox" in this ad from 1978.