COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:USA BREWERY: Miller Brewing Company STYLE:Light Lager ABV:4.17% PURCHASE:Draught (60-oz. pitcher), $8.00 SERVING:Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. Standard pour led to standard one-inch head, as did a slow pour. A fast pour roughly tripled it. Not much retention, in any case. APPEARANCE:One of the most transparent beers ever produced. Adjunct straw body with a sudsy white head that actually leaves okay, if inconsistent, lacing. Steady bubble action. BOUQUET:All the essential party beer ingredients are here: Water, seltzer, metal. Damp sponge essences round things out. In other words, it features the aroma of a metal surface freshly wiped with a sponge dampened with seltzer water. Perhaps a floral note or two or a half. PALATE:Do I have to? Light body--duh, it's a light beer. Standard carbonation. Unless it's ice cold, the mouthfeel is that of club soda that has been sitting out for a while. (Now I understand why people have taken to putting limes in these.) To its credit, it does possess some actual beer character, namely yeast, which enters the picture about halfway into each sip and takes over the rest of the way. Slightly grainy. It claims to be "triple hops brewed," but where the fuck are they? Yes, I just dropped an f-bomb. MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:There was a time when I honestly thought Miller Lite was the best of the "Big Three" light beers--whatever that's worth. They're essentially the same, of course, but for some reason Miller seemed a fraction of a fraction of a notch above Bud and Coors. Perhaps its corporate restructuring at play, but it seems it's the other way around these days. I can think of four positives--more like "non-negatives"--with this one. 1) It's inexpensive. 2) It isn't skunky. 3) You can drink a ton of it. And 4) it's better than Ultra. To address each: 1) So fuckin' what; 2) whoop-dee-friggin'-doo; 3) great, but that only means you'll have to take a piss every five minutes; and 4) wow, it's better than a beer that doesn't taste like a real beer. Stop the fuckin' presses! I have a theory: The higher the number of celebrity endorsements, the more mediocre the beer. But hey, it's less filling!
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:USA BREWERY:Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Company STYLE:Porter ABV: 6.0% PURCHASE:Draught (60-oz. pitcher), $10.00 SERVING:Said pitcher, poured into pint glass. Standard pour resulted in 2 1/2" head, and a slower one got only slightly less than that. Ironically, a faster pour on Round 3 got less than an inch. Retention was average to slightly worse than average, at any rate. APPEARANCE:Dark, dark ruby-brown, like Guinness. Tannish-beige head. Decent bubble action, particularly for a porter. Almost no lacing in the glass, though there was some in the pitcher.
BOUQUET:Smells kind of like Guinness, too. Vanilla? I suppose. It's not obvious; let's just put it that way. The main aroma here was coffee complemented by malted grain. There is arguably a tinge of hops, but nothing significant in that respect. PALATE:Thin body with the usual level of carbonation. Entry is semi-malty, mid-palate is semi-roasty. Emphasis on the "semi" prefix. Mid-palate also sees the emergence of a toasted-grain essence that dominates the picture from that point forward, although a coffee/tea note joins it in the aftertaste. Vanilla? I suppose. It's not obvious; let's just put it that way. MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:The Leinenkugel Brewery makes its debut appearance on Crockett's Cold Ones with this, the "Snowdrift" Vanilla Porter. In other words, eh. I will concede that this one was at the upper end of that category. Regardless, I've always felt that Leinies were, more or less, what Anheuser-Busch would put out if they had a craft beer division. Tonight's session only reaffirmed that prejudice. Cue the Budweiser Clydesdales.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA BREWERY:Sierra Nevada Brewing Company STYLE:APA ABV:5.6% PURCHASE:Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $38.23 SERVING:12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A standard pour yielded an initial head of a little over two inches, a slower one about an inch and a half. Decent retention. APPEARANCE:Beautiful caramel color, and a tad hazy; transparent but borders upon translucence. Off-white, slightly cream-tinted head. Light bubbling. Splotchy lacing. BOUQUET:Hops--the Cascade variety--are clearly the frontrunner. The citrus and floral notes they bring with them round out things quite nicely with the malt and caramel notes. A bit grapefruity in the nose as well. PALATE:Moderate in terms of both body and carbonation. Hops again are center stage, but they are tempered by a good deal of malt. Citrus notes are significant in the front and mid-palate, but things get yeastier at the finish. Traces of caramel seem to emerge at that point as well. Aftertaste is sweet, a little toasty, and tea-like. Flavorful taste profile and well-balanced. The brewers wisely didn't overcomplicate things. MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:One of the best "everyday" microbrews you will find. Not the very best of its style, but a great entry point. IPAs still too hoppy for you? Start with this instead. Arguably still a gold standard among American pale ales 35 years after its creation.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:Belgium BREWERY:Brouwerij Bosteels STYLE:Tripel ABV:8.4% PURCHASE:N/A (gift) SERVING: 25.4-oz. bottle, poured into Chimay branded chalice. An inch and a half's worth of head from a standard pour; a third of that from a slower one. Great retention. APPEARANCE:Translucent and hazy golden color with a bright, sudsy white head. Much bubbling, but very minimal lacing. BOUQUET:Malty and citrusy with spicy undertones as well as hints of banana. Zesty from coriander, clove, orange and lemon peel. Not much on the hop front. PALATE:Moderate body. Carbonation is sharp--even downright biting--during the first few sips after the pour; fortunately, it mellows out. Very smooth mouthfeel, with banana, malted grain--not particularly decipherable, but supposedly equal parts oak, barley, and wheat--and citrus the dominant factors. Spicy from mid-palate on, again in the form of mainly coriander, clove, and citrus zest. Things get interesting at the finish. Traces of yeast emerge, as do, in the aftertaste, hints of vanilla and fusel alcohol. It works, but doesn't come off as polished as most other renowned Belgian tripels. MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:This was first brewed in 1996, but was based on a recipe from a Carmelite convent in Dendermonde, Belgium dating to 1679. Who are the Carmelites? Look'em up. I can't be expected to do everything for you bastards. On the label, you will find the quotation, "3 granen," which as you can probably guess, translates to, "three grains." Those grains are, as previously mentioned, wheat, barley, and oat. None of them took the lead here, and none of them were particularly distinguishable. That said, the result was a highly enjoyable representative of this beer style, albeit not a top-tier one.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:USA BREWERY:Yards Brewing Company STYLE:APA ABV:4.6% PURCHASE: Draught (60-oz. pitcher), $10.00 SERVING:Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. Solid head from the tap of about two full inches; poured roughly an inch and a half from pitcher to glass. A slow pour yielded roughly the same result. Very good retention. APPEARANCE:Clear golden body with a dense white head. Bubble action present in pitcher but not in the glass. Very good lacing. BOUQUET:Mild noble hop bitterness trumps all else, the "all else" comprised mainly of citrus and floral essences. Malt notes are barely noticeable. PALATE:Moderately light body and even lighter on the carbonation. There do seem to be some sweet malt undertones early on, but overall the taste profile seems evenly split between citrus essences and hop bitterness, particularly at the finish. Aftertaste is grapefruity with subdued yeastiness. MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:This is an APA--an American pale ale--as opposed to an IPA. The difference? Essentially, more of a balance between malt and hops, and perhaps the variety of hops used during brewing. The gold standard for this style remains Sierra Nevada, at least in the opinion of this reviewer. As for this one, it's the poor man's version, the DVD to Sierra's Blu-Ray. Decent enough, but I expect better from Yards.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: USA BREWERY:Flying Dog Brewing Company STYLE:Märzen ABV:6.0% PURCHASE:Draught (60-oz. pitcher), $8.00 SERVING:Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. The initial standard pour yielded head that took up half the glass (roughly three full inches). A slower pour didn't produce much less. Ironically, the fast pour I did for round 3 got the least! Better than average retention, in any case. APPEARANCE:Transparent auburn-copper color, with an off-white, wispy head. Little bubble action in the glass, though more in the pitcher. Lacing was splotchy initially, though much, much better on the subsequent pour. BOUQUET:Appleskin and malted barley stand out above all else. A bit on the toasty side. Not much else in the nose. PALATE:Very soft carbonation paired with a slightly heavy body. A toasted malt flavor is almost immediate. By mid-palate, however, the overall mouthfeel becomes a malt-apple hybrid, more or less. The finish is where things get a little more complex: A slight hop bitterness enters the picture, as does a subdued note of mild spice, likely clove or coriander. Finish has an apple-like nature in terms of texture, although not really in terms of taste. The aftertaste maintains the hop bitterness, but gives rise to a significant yeast presence as well as traces of coffee and/or tea; more roasty than toasty at this stage. Coffee? Tea? SEGA?! MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:More of an Oktoberfest than the one I reviewed from Hofbräu last week, that's for sure. This one looked, nor smelled, nor tasted, like a Helles lager--that I can tell you. As an Oktoberfest brew, it's solid but nothing special; on a par with Sam's Octoberfest. I rank it accordingly.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:Germany BREWERY:Hofbräuhaus München STYLE:Märzen ABV:6.3% PURCHASE:Six-pack of 11.2-oz. bottles, $11.99 SERVING:11.2-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A standard pour produced a bit more than a standard head (roughly two inches). A slow pour resulted in more or less the same. A fast pour initially produced a head comprising half the glass, but which settled into the two-inch range rather quickly. Average retention. APPEARANCE:Has the look of a Helles lager: Straw color, spongy white head, steady bubbling, transparent body. Decent lacing. BOUQUET:Has the aroma of a Helles lager: Ideal hop-malt balance, a bit of breadiness, a bit of yeast. Fairly simple. PALATE:Has the mouthfeel of a Helles lager: Medium body, standard carbonation, effortless drinkability. Has the taste of a Helles lager: A pilsener-like sweetness that starts humbly, but crescendos with dextrins at the finish; an almost perfect balance between malted grain and noble hop bitterness, with a soft, warming spice factor--cloves and pepper--thrown in for good measure in the aftertaste. MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:This is an Oktoberfest? If it looks like a Helles, smells like a Helles, and tastes like a Helles, well then it must be a Helles! Luckily I like Helles lagers. Good enough brew, but points off for misleading the consumer.
COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:USA BREWERY:Weyerbacher Brewing Company STYLE:Pumpkin Ale ABV: 8.0% PURCHASE:Draught (12-oz.), $7.50 SERVING:Chimay branded chalice. From the tap, about a half- to three-quarter-inch head. Rather quick dissipation for a craft beer. APPEARANCE:What you'd expect a pumpkin ale to look like. Color of pumpkin pie bordering upon dark caramel. Cream-beige head. Absolutely zero lacing. A fast-disappearing head will have that effect. BOUQUET:Subtle pumpkin spice blend, with nutmeg as the star attraction. Cinnamon is notable, as are traces of brown sugar and cinnamon. Not as gingery as other pumpkin ales. Features a fairly conspicuous dark fruit undercurrent, namely plum and/or fig, and possibly raisin. Sniffing this, I entertain visions of pumpkin pie, but I also dream of Fig Newtons. PALATE:Somewhat heavy body, but light on the carbonation. A bit nondescript early on, but asserts itself mid-palate, especially if you let it linger. Sweet finish that bolsters the fruit factor. Nutmeg figures into the picture, but the overall "pumpkin spice" factor is subdued. My nose was right about the plum and fig: They both play major roles in the aftertaste, which is also a bit yeasty. This may be the yeastiest pumpkin ale I've had to date, in fact. Not saying that matters much. MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:Three of these will hit you if you don't eat dinner beforehand. (It was filet mignon for your humble narrator tonight, my little droogs.) This packs more than just pumpkin; like the Punkless Dunkel from Neshaminy Creek, it posits dark fruit on an even keel with it. Unlike that beer, however, this one doesn't come off quite as expertly refined. But it's a player in the now seemingly oversaturated world of pumpkin ales--or should I say "pumpkin" ales?
