REVIEW 169: BALTIKA #7 EXPORT

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Russian Federation

BREWERY:  Baltika Breweries

STYLE:  Dortmunder

ABV:  5.4%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 11.2-oz. bottles, $13.99

SERVING:  11.2-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A standard pour yielded a two-inch initial head. Average retention, more or less. A slower pour took about half an inch off the crown.

APPEARANCE:  Straw-colored, see-through body, a bit darker than your typical adjunct or macrolager. Very bright white head. Steady bubbling and almost no lacing to speak of.

AROMA:  Bready, bready, and bready. Very little hop presence and maybe a touch of generic malt. Kind of smells like a Heineken.

TASTE:  Medium-thin mouthfeel with fairly prominent carbonation. No attention-grabber here; neutrality seems to be the theme. Bready taste, mostly, and never really wavers. A bit yeastier at the finish with a slightly malty and fusel-ish aftertaste. Makes for a smooth but unremarkable sipping experience.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This is supposed to be a Dortmunder, a decidedly German style of beer. It's got the bready quality down cold. (Dortmunders are known for that.) Malt? Check, albeit minimal. Something was off, though. It seemed overcarbonated, and over-alcoholic at the end of each sip. Tasted like it could have come from Anheuser-Busch.

Well, you could consider Baltika the Russian A-B. They're the largest brewery in that country, and the second largest in Europe. Established in 1990, they were taken over by Carlsberg in 2008, but production remains in St. Petersburg.

Baltika #7 is one of a series of "numbered" brews from the relatively young brewery. They have a non-alcoholic beer aptly named "#0." This one is called "#7 Export" presumably because Dortmunders are also known as "export lagers." It should be called "#7 Bleh."




GRADE:  C-

BONUS POINTS . . . for the distinguishable peel-off bottle caps. No bottle opener needed!

REVIEW 168: MILWAUKEE'S BEST PREMIUM

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Miller Brewing Co.

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.8%

PURCHASE:  Case of 30 12-oz. cans, $15.33

SERVING:  12-oz. can, poured into pint glass. Very, very heady with just a standard pour; took up 3/4 of the glass. Decent retention, too. It takes a very slow pour to produce an initial head of under two inches. 

APPEARANCE:  Whitest head I ever did see, I tell you what. Pale golden body reminiscent of beer commercials from the '80s. Minimal bubbling. Some lacing--more like a few random splotches. 

AROMA:  Fairly clean scent. Not skunky. Not off-putting at all. But there's almost nothing there. Some graininess. Maybe, just maybe, a hop or two fell into the vat during the brewing process. Know what I smell? WATER. After having used it to boil rice.

TASTE:  Lightly carbonated and THIN. One of the easiest beers to "pound." Agreeable enough taste; on the other hand, it has almost no "beer character" whatsoever. Somewhat yeasty finish; that's about it. Believe it or not, there seems to be a touch of lemon rind in the aftertaste. Could be the placebo effect at work, but I'm still downing these as I type this review, and I'm still noticing it. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  There's beer, and there's just beer-flavored water. As the latter, this really ain't bad. Maybe it's even "premium" as it says on the can! But as the former, it's mediocre.

But see, in this case, "mediocre" is actually a compliment. When I was in college, this, along with the two Nattys, made up what I called the "Frat Guy Triumvirate." In other words, they were the Big Three* among cheap beers designed to go down easy at parties, in order to get the opposite sex in the mood to do the same a couple hours later.

For several years, Milwaukee's Best was nicknamed the "Beast." Just thought I'd throw that out there.




GRADE:   D

*Busch arguably made it the Big Four.

REVIEW 167: PAULANER OKTOBERFEST MÄRZEN

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Germany

BREWERY:  Paulaner Brauerei GmbH & Co. KG 

STYLE:  Märzen/Oktoberfest

ABV:  5.8%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 11.2-oz. bottles, $13.99

SERVING:  11.2-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. 2 1/2" head with a normal pour. A slow pour got less than an inch. A fast one on beer #3 got about three full inches, if only briefly. So-so retention.

APPEARANCE:  An Oktoberfest that doesn't stand out visually. Light copper body, kind of like a penny, that borders on dark gold. Beige-white head. Transparent with minor bubbling. No lacing around the glass whatsoever.

AROMA:  Somewhat grassy, with a "fresh veggie" vibe to it. A hint of grain and, possibly, a placebo note of hops if you're looking for it. Honestly smells like it could pass for a macrolager from this side of the Atlantic. 

TASTE:  An Oktoberfest whose taste contradicts its aroma. Roasty from the get-go. Forward notes of barley. Throughline of subtle richness. Increasingly hoppy toward the end, but still falls well short of IPA territory. Somewhat syrupy and fusel finish with a crescendo of caramel and a bit of generic spice. Smooth overall mouthfeel with standard carbonation. Goes down fast.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Thankfully, I have an open mind. I don't let a questionable first impression spoil an entire experience. Otherwise, I'd likely be shitting all over this.

Simple but effective taste profile. Doesn't do too much, but what it does do, it does damn well. Say that ten times fast. I dare you.

Paulaner is one of six German breweries who officially supply beer for Oktoberfest. They are not to be confused with the makers of "all-fruit." What's all-fruit? It's a fruity spread for toast, muffins, bagels, et al. But please, please, don't call it jelly.



GRADE:   B+

REVIEW 166: YUENGLING OKTOBERFEST

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA (Pottsville, PA!)

BREWERY:  Yuengling Brewery

STYLE:  Märzen/Oktoberfest

ABV:  5.45%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $9.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour yielded a solid two-inch head. A slower pour yielded almost the same. Good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent but a bit hazy. Color is a dark tan bordering upon light copper territory. Standard off-white tinted head, sudsy but somewhat dense. Thin but steady bubbling. Prominent, splotchy lacing. 

AROMA:  Toasted grains and subdued spice notes like allspice and cinnamon. A little malty. Effectively no hop presence.

TASTE:  Thin body and somewhat watery mouthfeel. Very, very easy to drink--I'll give it that. Standard carbonation. As far as the actual taste, well, it's a little slow to take hold. The early going is basically null and void; toasted grains enter the fray mid-palate. Faint traces of generic spices toward the end. Aftertaste also has a bit of appleskin character. Practically no hop presence. On the whole, this isn't much different from a regular Yuengling. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  I don't care how "storied" a brewery may be. Average is average. And Yuengling is usually just that . . . at best. They may as well be Leinenkugel's at this point. That's how unexciting their entire line of beers really is.

Bleh, bleh, and more bleh.

SPECIAL NOTE:  I reviewed this beer by request from a girl I know. I asked if I could use her photo at the end of the review, and she declined. You know, make her famous, at least among my two or three dozen regular readers? Oh well. It's possible that I will start having people "model" the beers I review. An idea has been spawned, my little droogs.




GRADE:   C-

Who asked Crockett to review this beer?

REVIEW 165: LEINENKUGEL'S OKTOBERFEST

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA (Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin)

BREWERY:  The Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Company

STYLE:  Märzen/Oktoberfest

ABV:  5.1%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $5.50

SERVING:  Pint glass. Not much head, maybe half an inch. Mediocre retention at best.

APPEARANCE:  Copper-mahogany tone and as transparent a beer that dark a color can possibly be. Off-white head, while it exists. Very little bubbling and no lacing whatsoever.

AROMA:  Bready with a whiff of appleskin. Perhaps a touch of some sort of spice. Toasty. Simple but decent.

TASTE:  Slightly filling with mellow carbonation. Soft mouthfeel. Hop factor is minimal, which is par for the course with Oktoberfests. Toasty, particularly toward the back. Malty and grainy finish that leads to a sweet aftertaste rife with appleskin notes and a slight accent of generic spice (seemingly a cross between cinnamon and allspice). Seems to hold back too much in every respect; could stand be more assertive. Goes down kind of like a bastardized Yuengling.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  "I like Leinenkugel's, even if they are a bit of a joke in the craft brewing community." From a Crockett confidante, on a private message board way back in 2009. Hey, I didn't say it; he did.

But I must say I agree with his general sentiment. In virtually every beer category, I have found the Leinie entry to serve as a pale imitation of the true greats. They do nothing wrong. They do nothing well. Bleh.




GRADE:   C-

HOCKEY SEASON = MORE BEER CONSUMPTION FOR CROCKETT

Greetings and salutations.

It has been almost two full months since my last review, as I have been busy with other commitments and needed to conserve finances. But tonight is the start of hockey season. That changes everything.

Beer is my beverage of choice while taking in a game. It follows, then, that with the upcoming slate of hockey games over the next several months, my review activity will return to (more or less) its former level of output.

GO FLYERS!

--Crock

REVIEW 164: ICELANDIC WHITE ALE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Iceland

BREWERY:  Einstök Ölgerð

STYLE:  Witbier

ABV:  5.2%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 11.2-oz. bottles, $11.99

SERVING:  11.2-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A pour of normal speed led to a head of three full inches; a slower one cut it in half. Good retention.

APPEARANCE:  Very pale, yellowish straw color. Hazy and cloudy, although it becomes clearer as you drink it. Spongy white head. Thin but steady bubbling. Very, very little lacing.

AROMA:  Prominent coriander notes, but orange zest seems to hog the spotlight here. Wheat, malt, and lemon essences are noticeable as well.

TASTE:  As with the aroma, zesty orange peel is the through-line, with an uptick of it in the aftertaste, which is quite lemony and yeasty overall. Mild at the onset, with a somewhat thin mouthfeel and middle-of-the-road carbonation. Wheat and coriander notes are makeable but very shy; they're almost bullied into submission by lemon and orange rind, and yeast. What's there is likeable but not ideally balanced. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This is a witbier, but at best, it comes off like a compromised one. It's like Blue Moon and Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy mixed together. Nothing wrong with that; but it's a little misleading.

This is a brew with a decent enough taste and it's very easy to put away. But it's too heavy on the lemon and orange zest and doesn't have enough actual witbier character. It's what I call an "identity crisis" beer. I like it, but it's the worst of the three I've had so far from the Einstök brewery in Iceland. 




GRADE:   B-

REVIEW 163: ICELANDIC ARCTIC PALE ALE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Iceland

BREWERY:  Einstök Ölgerð

STYLE:  APA

ABV:  5.6%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 11.2-oz. bottles, $11.99

SERVING:  11.2-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A normal pour yielded a head of an inch and a half; a slower pour whittled it down to an even inch, more or less. Great head retention.

APPEARANCE:  Translucent body with a caramel tint that could also be described as light copper or amber. Slightly off-white head. Faint bubbling. Good and fairly consistent lacing around the inside of the glass.

AROMA:  Balanced yet subtle aroma. Mainly pressed grains and (seemingly) appleskin. Hoppy accents. Rounded out by a tinge of lemon, orange zest, and some other kind of spice, probably allspice or cinnamon. A bit roasty.

TASTE:  Well-attenuated body in terms of texture and taste. Carbonation, though, is a little sneaky; it's barely there, but can surprise you if you hold a sip too long. Entry is a little blah, but it rights itself by mid-palate, taking on an appleskin-malt profile. Finish is somewhat fusel-like, and not too dry. Aftertaste continues the apple-malt throughline while adding a dimension of spice--again, it's hard to pin down. Seems like allspice or orange zest, possibly a tease of cinnamon, maybe even clove. Not particularly hoppy, and this is supposedly an APA--an American pale ale. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This isn't a bad little brewery, but they have some work to do.

This is a solid brew, but it's not perfect. They call it an APA because it's brewed with cascade hops, but it's brewed with a couple other varieties of hops as well. And they weren't that conspicuous. That could be a good or bad thing, of course. 

Per the label, this was "brewed 60 miles south of the Arctic Circle." The Arctic Circle passes through . . . Iceland--well, Icelandic waters, anyway. In other words, they're just saying it's brewed in Iceland. I love marketing people.




GRADE:   B

REVIEW 162: 21ST BIRTHDAY IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA (Downingtown, PA!)

BREWERY:  Victory Brewing Company

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  6.1%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $15.00

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Heady as hell from the bottle. Initial head of over three full inches with a standard pour. A faster pour yielded a head that took up almost the entire glass. Even a slower pour resulted in more than two inches. Outstanding retention.

APPEARANCE:  Light gold color and foggy. Densely packed white head. Faint bubbling, overshadowed by the suspended particles; reminiscent of another Victory brew, Golden Monkey. Prominent but somewhat uneven lacing.

AROMA:  Oh you know, the usual hop-citrus, hybrid aroma of an IPA. This one was a bit floral as well.

TASTE:  That hop-citrus dichotomy starts and last right through the finish, taste-wise; straightforward mouthfeel. Fairly easygoing and even a bit light-feeling, particularly for a six-percenter. No crescendos. No emergences. No surprises. Most complex part of the experience lies in the aftertaste: Somewhat lemony, a little sweet (a la Sweet-n-Low), with a slight uptick in bitterness. Sneaky carbonation. Almost shandy-like in its overall palate.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Another good-but-not-great offering from Victory, who in this reviewer's opinion, is really beginning to resemble Sam in that regard. And I'm always--ALWAYS--wary of the "anniversary" theme assigned to certain beers, as I am to any kind of "special edition." In my experience, none of them ever match the best and brightest of their respective breweries.

But it's still a Victory. (See what I did there? Give it a minute.) Victory's beers are kind of like Hitchcock films; most aren't masterpieces--even if that's what their creator is known for--but they're all at least markedly above average. You really can't go wrong. And I'm sorry for the cliché.




GRADE:  B

REVIEW 161: GOOSE IPA (REVISITED)

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA (Chicago)

BREWERY:  Goose Island Beer Company

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  5.9%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack of 12-oz. bottles, $11.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. An almost three-inch head from both a normal and slower pour. Outstanding retention.

APPEARANCE:  Rocky white head atop a transparent, golden body. Visually, could almost pass for a pilsner or Helles. Conspicuous bubbling. Excellent lacing.

AROMA:  What we have here is an IPA that isn't all hops all the time! They're nicely held in check by floral and citrus notes--namely grapefruit--as well as malt. Bready for an IPA.

TASTE:  Hoppy onset--what else do you expect? Sweet overall mouthfeel. Malty undertones. As with the aroma, the hops are not overly aggressive; instead, they are rounded out by mostly citrus notes. Packs a grapefruit wallop at the back. Aftertaste seems, for the most part, evenly split 50/50 between hops and grapefruit, with some yeast and bitter orange sneaking in there at the very, very end.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  In my original review, I concluded that this is a beer that "flirted with greatness," or something to that effect. That was the draft version. 

It's a bit better in the bottle. 

Goose Island is one of those breweries that's never categorized in the top of the heap by the online beer snob community, perhaps rightly so. But I find them sorely underrated. They have their share of misfires, but their flagship IPA, while not quite elite, certainly hits the target. I'm bumping this one up a notch.



ORIGINAL GRADE:  B+

NEW GRADE:  A-