REVIEW 116: KISS OFF IPA W/ GRAPEFRUIT

Somebody is anxious for hockey season to start!

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Round Guys Brewing Company

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  6.3%

PURCHASE:  Cask (pint), $7.00

SERVING:  Pint glass. Standard 3/4-inch head from the cask. (A cask system is essentially a draft beer system minus additional nitrogen or carbon dioxide during dispensation.) Okay retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent amber-caramel color with a white head. Average lacing with little visible bubbling.

BOUQUET:  Aroma is more malt than hops, prompting me to ask: Is this an IPA? Citrus is very prominent, although it is just as much lemon rind as it is grapefruit.

PALATE:  Very easygoing, juicy taste profile. Carbonation is next to nonexistent. Probably the least hoppy IPA I have ever had--they are barely noticeable, once again prompting me to ask: Is this an IPA? The grapefruit is there, but is tempered and pleasant with no bitterness. In fact, there is no bitterness of any kind--rare for any IPA, but especially for one from the home country. Subtly spicy aftertaste, but overall this is a timid beer. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Another entry from one of the "new kids on the block" on the American craft beer scene, Round Guys from Lansdale, PA. "W/ Grapefruit" is in this beer's name due to the earlier version not having grapefruit at all, as you can probably guess. Not a bad brew, certainly. But points off for misrepresentation of its category.

I'll ask one last time: Is this an IPA? This could almost pass for Magic Hat.




GRADE:  C

Get it? It's a MAGIC HAT!

REVIEW 115: ROLLING ROCK EXTRA PALE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Latrobe Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.6%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $2.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. From the tap, a standard 3/4" head. The two subsequent beers got a little less. Lousy retention.

APPEARANCE:  Body of the beer is the color I call "adjunct straw." Sudsy white head--when in existence. Very little visible bubbling, and no lacing whatsoever. 

BOUQUET:  About as clean as you can get. Lacks the skunk factor present in so many other mass-produced macrolagers. On the flip side, there isn't much of anything. Seltzer, some generic adjunct product, and a fraction of a fraction of a trace of floral hops. 

PALATE:  Seltzer-like entry, which explains the soda-like but somewhat repressed carbonation. Middle-of-the-road body, palate-wise. Generic grains permeate the mid-palate but recede right at the finish, yielding to adjunct notes such as corn and rice, and a resurgence of seltzer. There isn't even much of a yeast factor here; it's almost as if you're drinking a light beer. (Well, it is under 5%.)

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  The Rock. The first beer Crockett ever had. A 7-ounce "pony" bottle, courtesy of my grandfather. It was his weapon of choice.

Back then, it was good. Or maybe it was inexperience convincing me it was good. I can't tell. All I know is that, as an adult, I find it to be . . . bleh. Did Latrobe's sale to InBev destroy a once-great brand? I don't know. At the end of the day, the Rock is another Yuengling: A storied brew from my home state that has sharply declined in prestige and has been surpassed by hundreds--even thousands--of competitors, yet remains oversentimentalized by local drinkers.

So, what does the "33" mean? Who gives a shit?




GRADE:  D-

REVIEW 114: HARP LAGER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Ireland

BREWERY:  Guinness Ltd.

STYLE:  Pale Lager

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Draft (20-oz.), $6.00

SERVING:  Harp branded weizen glass. From the tap, semi-dense 3/4-inch head with better than average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Transparent brass color with your everyday white head. Visible steady bubbling. Virtually no lacing until the third beer, when, seemingly due to some beer snob magic, some appeared. (I had all three in the same glass; maybe that had something to do with it.)

BOUQUET:  Fairly clean aroma, with a hint of floral hops. Mostly generic, however.

PALATE:  Lightly carbonated beer with a standard body. Essentially a "straight-ahead" palate, like most pale lagers, until the aftertaste that sees a slight accent of hops and yeast. Before that, though, this doesn't seem to undergo any sort of "arc," taste-wise. Starts generically grainy, finishes generically grainy. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Bleh. Irish beers are like the Mexican beers of Europe: Very, very few of them are truly mediocre; but very, very few of them are truly great.

This one does nothing wrong. It just doesn't do anything well.




GRADE:  C-

REVIEW 113: LEINENKUGEL'S SUMMER SHANDY

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Company

STYLE:  Shandy; Fruit/Vegetable Beer

ABV:  4.2%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $4.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Head from the tap only about half an inch. Not much retention either.

APPEARANCE:  Hazy golden-orange body with a fizzy white head. No visible bubbling action and no lacing around the glass.

BOUQUET:  Smells more like lemonade than beer, as you'd expect, but malt notes can be found as well. Not much else. In fact, when held really close, it has an aroma more like lemon pastries than a lemonade or lemon-flavored beverage of any kind.

PALATE:  Somewhat heavy for a brew with an ABV akin to that of a light beer. Soda-like carbonation, but it's still smoother than an expert wax job. Like other shandies, it comes as advertised: A straight-ahead hybrid of lemonade and your everyday macrolager. Lemony entry, lemony mid-palate, lemony finish, lemony aftertaste. Although it's a bit yeasty at the end, too. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  I'm going to turn off my beer-snob switch for a moment. After all, this is clearly not a beer snob's brew.

On its own merit, then, I honestly can't bash this. Granted, I think it's kind of sad that a brewery's best offering is a fucking shandy. And it's one-dimensional. But it does that dimension decently, so I rank it accordingly.




GRADE:  B

REVIEW 112: GAME OF THRONES: IRON THRONE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Brewery Ommegang

STYLE:  Blonde Ale

ABV:  6.5%

PURCHASE:  25.4-oz. bottle, $14.99

SERVING:  Said bottle, poured into Chimay branded chalice. A standard pour got a standard head of roughly 3/4 of an inch. A fast pour on Round 2 yielded twice that. I went slow on Round 3, and managed just half an inch. Retention is a little better than average but not noteworthy.

APPEARANCE:  Translucent and glowing golden-orange body, with a sudsy white head. To be truthful, the head was underwhelming given the radiance of the body of the beer, which took on the appearance of a Belgian tripel. Centered bubbling action, due no doubt to the engineering of the Chimay chalice. Essentially no lacing.

BOUQUET:  Sweet and fragrant malt aroma, with citrus overtones and seeming hints of banana and witbier spices such as clove and coriander.

PALATE:  Medium to slightly heavy body--to be expected from a beer with an ABV over 6%. Seems a bit overcarbonated; the carbonation is quick to assert itself--particularly right out of the bottle--and will rise sharply if held even a nanosecond too long. It's like Joffrey Baratheon in that respect: Too much eagerness for its own good, lacking the know-how of when to remain subtle. Entry is malty. Hops are minimal, if even detectable. The finish is malty as well, but by this point are complemented by a note of citrus, a trace of banana, and a pinch of yeast sprinkled in. Seems lacking on the back end, which, in my opinion, is where truly great beers are made. Aftertaste has a little peppery kick to it, rounded out by a note of coriander. Finishes like a witbier, in that sense. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  At the risk of sounding like I'm desperate for a cheap pun or witticism, I say this is the beer equivalent to Joffrey. Yes. That Joffrey. It's blonde. It's bold, assertive, and ambitious. But it lacks polish. It lacks full-bodiedness. In short, it lacks character. Not to mention, it seemed to "die" in my mouth--yet the effects of its actions carried on a bit.

Sound familiar, GOT fans? 

Thankfully, what is there is still potent . . . to a degree. It seems to have been guided in the right direction, at least in part ([cough]Tyrion[cough]). But it clearly isn't worthy of the Iron Throne.




GRADE:  B-

REVIEW 111: MODELO ESPECIAL

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Mexico

BREWERY:  Grupo Modelo S.A. de C.V.

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.4%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $30.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Almost no variation in the head; a standard, faster, and slower pour all yielded in the neighborhood of half an inch. Not much retention, regardless.

APPEARANCE:  Clear golden body the usual off-white sudsy head. Very bubbly. No lacing whatsoever.

BOUQUET:  Mainly doughy and grainy but also slightly citrusy and floral. Not much else going on.

PALATE:  Manages to be smooth and somewhat light without being watery. Points for that. Taste is amiable enough. Carbonation can go unnoticed, since it is very slow to assert itself. Entry and mid-palate are grainy and typical for a North American adjunct. Finish features a tinge of both citrus and floral hops--just a tinge--and leads to a slightly yeasty and malty aftertaste. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  More or less a standard cerveza; in other words, it's Bud if it were brewed in Mexico City instead of St. Louis. The difference with this one is that unlike a lot of other Mexican lagers, it thankfully lacks that final downer note of skunk a la Corona Light or Sol. 

In case you didn't know, "modelo" is the Spanish word for "model." How fitting.




GRADE:  C-

Get it? She's a "modelo." 

REVIEW 110: SAMUEL ADAMS BOSTON LAGER (REVISITED)

COUNTRY:  USA

BREWERY:  The Boston Beer Company

STYLE:  Vienna Lager

ABV:  4.9%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $5.99 (first three); draft (20-oz.), $6.75 (fourth, at a different venue)

SERVING:  Pint/pilsner glass (could pass for either). Chilled glass for beer #1: Less than half an inch of head with so-so retention. Unchilled glass for beers 2 and 3: Roughly half an inch of head, with only slightly better retention. Went to a different venue for a fourth, for comparison/contrast purposes: This one was served in the Samuel Adams Boston Lager branded glass, and featured almost a full inch of head, but still only average retention. 

APPEARANCE:  Semi-transparent amber-copper body--a bit darker than the bottled version with which I opened this blog--and the usual off-white head. Little visible bubbling. Better than average, if somewhat irregular, lacing around the glass for the first three I had in the slender pint glass; outstanding lacing, however, in the fourth brew that I had in the Sam glass.

BOUQUET:  Smoothly multidimensional aroma comprised mainly of moderate floral hops, caramel, and toasted malt notes. Hints of citrus and a dash of spice round things out. The spice in question, aromatically, seems to be cinnamon, anise, and/or allspice. Hard to pinpoint, though.

PALATE:  A bit heavy for a beer that's less than 5%. The typical degree of carbonation that's easy to keep in check. Features what I call a "ride-like" palate; it starts at one place, goes for a ride, and ends up across town, but not in unfamiliar territory. The place of origin, in this case, is a sweet hop-malt balance. The destination (read: finish)? An ending of appleskins, lemon zest, moderate hop bitterness--which never left--and ever so subtle spice notes that are still a challenge to nail down. In the nose, I thought cinnamon, allspice, perhaps a bit of anise. Now I'm thinking maybe clove or even coriander. The aftertaste is toastier and yeastier, with a slightly more pronounced hop bitterness and a lingering lemon zest and citrus note. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  When I was a kid, like many other boys who eagerly followed sports, I collected baseball cards. I'm dating myself here, but when I first started collecting at age nine, Topps was still king, with relative newbies Donruss and Fleer just beginning to assert themselves. Then, in 1989, everything changed when Upper Deck showed up on the scene, introducing cards with much better photography, a glossier finish, and holograms to make counterfeiting all but impossible. They were pricier, but due to the higher production quality, they held their value much better, and became the most popular brand in a very short period of time.

However, the competition took note, and responded by upping the ante with even glossier cards of their own, featuring such things as gold stamping and ultraviolet coating. Topps introduced Stadium Club cards. Fleer released their version, called Flair. Score, another newer brand, offered Pinnacle. Donruss revamped their Diamond Kings subset to reflect this trend. As a result, Upper Deck was forced to respond in kind, releasing its "SP" and "Die-Cut" series. The average card was now much more expensive and much "nicer." On the flip side, the market became so flooded it was almost impossible to keep track of every single set from every single company.

Kind of like the craft beer industry today. Boston Lager is like that original 1989 Upper Deck baseball set. It's not the best ever made. It's not the most expensive. It's not the most famous. But it has rightly earned its place in the beer world as one of the first--if not the first--"craft" brews, developed in response to the North American industrial macrobrewing banality of Miller, Coors, Anheuser-Busch, and others. It has stood the test of time, despite the endless onslaught of American microbreweries, Belgian abbey ales, and other imports. It has been surpassed, but remains, simply, a classic. I just wish a case of it came with a Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card. 




ORIGINAL GRADE:  A

NEW GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 109: HOPDEVIL

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Victory Brewing Company

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  6.7%

PURCHASE:  12-oz. bottle, $4.75 (two purchased for $9.50)

SERVING:  Said bottle, poured into chilled pint glass. Both a standard and slow pour produced a dense head of about two and a half inches. Great retention.

APPEARANCE:  Beautiful rusted amber color with a slightly cream-tinted head. Relatively transparent. Not much visible bubbling, but outstanding lacing.

BOUQUET:  Tempered hops and citrus rounded out by malt. Highly grapefruit-like.

PALATE:  Medium to slightly heavy body with carbonation that is expertly held back. Starts with a soft hop note that seems to bloom in your mouth, taste-wise; peaks at mid-palate, then pulls back at the finish to allow for a nice influx of malt and citrus. Aftertaste is grapefruity and yeasty. Has just the right amount of bitterness and bite to it, remaining exceptionally smooth on the whole. This is an IPA, but the hops are curtailed to a point where this borders upon Boston Lager territory. Always a good decision from the brewmeister. (See what I did there? Give it a minute.)

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Long one of my go-tos, and one of the flagship offerings from Victory--if not the flagship offering from them. Never fails to show why.




GRADE:  A

REVIEW 108: CORONA LIGHT

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Mexico

BREWERY:  Grupo Modelo S.A. de C.V.

STYLE:  Light Lager

ABV:  4.1%

PURCHASE:  Draft (pint), $5.50

SERVING:  Chilled pint glass. Half-inch head from the tap that dwindled down to nothing inside of 20 seconds.

APPEARANCE:  Adjunct straw with a thin white head--what's left of it. Not much bubbling action for a light beer, especially for one from this continent. Lacing? Ha. Ha HA ha!

BOUQUET:  Delightful aroma of water and the interior of the keg from whence it was drafted.

PALATE:  Somewhat heavy body for a light beer. The carbonation starts off subtle enough, but it doesn't take long for it to go its own way, way out yonder, where no carbonation has gone before. Drinkable enough, but it seems to wear its mediocrity like a badge of honor at every turn. Fairly even palate of generic grain, yeast, and seltzer, with an ever so slight accent of hops at the finish--possibly this beer's saving grace--along with a fusel alcohol presence like you would find in a "40" of malt liquor from a bottle shop in Kensington. Aftertaste continues the fusel-hop-seltzer blend but is also a tad skunky.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  To think there was a time when I actually thought this was better than regular Corona.

I consider this Mexico's answer to Miller Lite. In other words, it's better than Ultra.




GRADE:  D-