REVIEW 51: TROOPER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  England

BREWERY:  Robinsons Brewery (also known as Robinsons Family Brewers)

STYLE:  ESB

ABV:  4.7%

PURCHASE:  4-pack of 16.9-oz. cans, $13.99

SERVING:  16.9-oz. can, poured into Guinness-branded imperial pint glass. Produced a fluffy two-inch head upon initial dispensation with a normal pour speed. A slower pour resulted in only a little less. Good retention. 

APPEARANCE:  Translucent caramel color bordering upon copper. Bright white head. Very good lacing.

BOUQUET:  Not particularly assertive in any way; rather, the nose is comprised of several little aromas that mesh very well. It's a bit on the fruity side--seemingly both citrus and apricot. It features a fragrant hop-malt balance. It's a little buttery, a little toffeeish. And it's also very tea-like; in fact, tea seems to be the enveloping factor.

PALATE:  Softly onsetting carbonation in a light-medium body. A little fruity upon entry. Subdued hoppiness takes hold mid-palate. Extremely smooth mouthfeel. Finish leads to a tea-like aftertaste--I wasn't hallucinating--that also features notes of lemon zest and a tinge of spice that seems to be either pepper or coriander, or maybe both. The aftertaste, as with lots of brews, is the best part. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Brewed since 2013, with a recipe created by Iron Maiden frontman and British beer enthusiast Bruce Dickinson, the Trooper has been, to date, the most successful export for the Robinsons Brewery of Stockport, England. The beer is named after the Maiden song, which in turn was inspired by Tennyson's "The Charge of the Light Brigade," which in turn commemorated the bravery of British troopers during the Battle of Balaclava during the Crimean War in 1854.

As for the beer, well . . . it's a trooper. (Sorry.) It's an ESB, which is short for "extra special bitter," or "extra strong bitter." It's a bit of a misnomer, since these beers really aren't that bitter at all. This one is a textbook case, being quite mild in actuality. (Think of Yards Brawler.) All bitterness aside--sorry again--this is one of those beers that could stand to be a little more daring and little less subtle. As it is for the moment, it's a good session brew. Great for knocking a few back while . . . listening to Maiden albums. (I'm sorry, really. But I couldn't resist.)*

*My original intention was to write this review in such a way that a Maiden song was mentioned every sentence. I decided against it for reasons of syntactical ineffectiveness. And because it would make me look lame.




GRADE:  B-

REVIEW 50: FRANZISKANER WEISSBIER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Germany

BREWERY:  Spaten-Franziskaner-Bräu

STYLE:  Hefeweizen

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Pint (draught), $6.00

SERVING:  Franziskaner-branded weizen glass. Tap produced the run-of-the-mill one-inch crown. Fluffy initially, then more like spongy after several seconds. Average to slightly better than average retention--maybe. 

APPEARANCE:  Cloudy golden-orange body with a bright white head. Translucent toward the bottom of the glass. Lacing is minuscule and inconsistent. 

BOUQUET:  Appealing blend of wheat, citrus zest (lemon and/or orange rind), coriander, and clove, for the most part. Hints of banana.

PALATE:  Somewhat of a Blue Moon-like taste profile. Medium body with carbonation that is initially complementary, but can snowball out of control if you're not careful. In other words, don't hold a sip of this in your mouth for too long! Front palate is lacking, but things get going just a beat later, with burrowing citrus and spice notes. A mellow undertone of banana emerges, and it seems to last the longest of any particular flavor except for perhaps the kick of coriander, clove, and pepper that emerges further and further back. Finish sees a significant increase in citrus and zest--namely lemon and orange rind--before yielding to the more-or-less "peppery orange-banana" aftertaste. Better and less harsh as it warms; too cold a glass seems to heighten the carbonation to a point where it is just too biting, resulting in a loss of balance. In fact, my first of these tonight almost came off like spiked orange soda for several sips, before I allowed it to sit, then opted not to change glasses on subsequent orders.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Amiable and refreshing. But those are generic words. This is a German hefeweizen; generic won't do.

Carbonation is important to beer; after all, without it, beer would be flat. But there is such a thing as too much carbonation. And it's too much carbonation that makes this, ultimately, a good beer and not a great one. Everything else gels nicely. So nicely, in fact, that you're willing to look past even a major gaffe--like too much carbonation.




GRADE:  B

REVIEW 49: 60 MINUTE IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Dogfish Head Brewery

STYLE:  IPA

ABV:  6.0%

PURCHASE:  60-oz. pitcher, $11.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. From tap to pitcher, this yielded a standard head of an inch or so. When dispensed into the glass, a standard pour got roughly an inch and a half, as did a slower pour. A fast pour got almost double that. Better than average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Deep gold color, bordering upon caramel, and fairly transparent. Your standard, slightly off-white head. Blotchy lacing around the glass.

BOUQUET:  Yes, it's an IPA, but it's not as overtly hoppy as you might expect. Yeasty undertones pervade the nose, as do caramel, grapefruit, and a floral essence of some kind. 

PALATE:  Moderate body that comes off as relatively light for a six-percenter. Light carbonation. Juice-like mouthfeel. One of the maltiest IPAs out there; there is no "crescendo" quality here, particularly with regard to hops. In fact, the hoppiest part of each sip is the aftertaste, which itself is balanced out with yeast and citrus notes, as with the bouquet. Smooth drinking experience, even for the novice IPA imbiber. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This remains one of the best known entries on the American IPA market, and one of the flagship stateside IPAs of the modern craft beer movement. The familiar green fish logo is a welcome sight at any bar, restaurant, or distributor, and the brand is still a go-to when introducing an inexperienced drinker to the world of the India Pale Ale. 

Alas, Dogfish Head has simply been surpassed by various offerings in recent years: Crooked Eye, Racer 5, Troegs, Stone--just to name a few. A brew that was once a consensus All-Star has now--at least in this reviewer's view--been relegated to the status of solid player.




GRADE:  B

REVIEW 48: BLUE MOON BELGIAN WHITE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Blue Moon Brewing Company*

STYLE:  Witbier

ABV:  5.4%

PURCHASE:  60-oz. pitcher, $10.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass, sans orange. Not overly heady from the tap itself, but a standard pour from the pitcher into the glass initially produced a crown of two and a half to three inches. Faster pour for serving #2 actually got less, but the beer had warmed a bit by then. A slow pour on the third try got the desirable one-incher. 

APPEARANCE:  Bright, effervescent, golden-orange, like a sunrise--except this was a bit cloudy at the same time. A paradox? Translucent with what I call "light-bulb-white" head. No lacing at all. Seriously, none.

BOUQUET:  Orange zest, wheat, and coriander--always an inviting aroma. Unless the orange is moldy. This almost comes off like juice at first sniff.

PALATE:  Relatively light body. Carbonation is deceptive: Soft at first, but it can become sharp and biting if you let it. Citrusy throughout each sip, and somewhat wheaty. Juice-like finish. Aftertaste is largely devoid of discernible, resonating flavors, with the exception of faint notes of orange zest and oats, should you allow said aftertaste to linger. Yup. Oats, something I must admit I never picked up on with this beer until recently. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This year marks the 20th anniversary of Blue Moon, as it was introduced in 1995 under the name "Bellyslide Belgian White." Controversy persists to this day as to whether it qualifies as a "craft beer." It has certainly been marketed as such, particularly when it exploded in popularity in the mid-2000s.

I say it isn't. It's a macrolager masquerading as one. That's not to put it down entirely; it's a crowd pleaser, as well as a stepping stone for someone taking baby steps into the world of real craft beer. But the hype is undeserved, especially these days. This has devolved over the years; perhaps the MillerCoors takeover did it in, as InBev did with Rolling Rock. This used to be a solid alternative to actual Belgian witbiers. Now it's an underwhelming imitator of them. Bleh.




GRADE:  C

*The Blue Moon Brewing Company remains the immediate company overseeing production of Blue Moon Belgian White, though it is a subsidiary of Coors, which in turn is a subsidiary of MolsonCoors. The original Blue Moon brewery (at "The Sandlot") continues to operate out of Coors Field in Denver, the home of Major League Baseball's Colorado Rockies.

REVIEW 47: CUVÉE VAN DE KEIZER (BLAUW)

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Belgium

BREWERY:  Brouwerij Het Anker 

STYLE:  Strong Dark Ale

ABV:  11.0%

PURCHASE:  25.4-oz. bottle (gift)

SERVING:  Said bottle, poured into Chimay-branded chalice. Half-inch head with a pour of normal speed (around twenty seconds). A faster pour resulted in a whole inch. Head retention is average, the lone "criticism" you could possibly make about this beer.

APPEARANCE:  Dark walnut brown color. Luminescent for a dark beer. Beige head. Great lacing--almost picturesque in that regard.

BOUQUET:  Dark fruit--namely figs--shares the spotlight here with caramel, toffee, fudge--yes, fudge--(seemingly) chocolate or cacao, and malted grain. Quite possibly the most addictive aroma I've ever experienced in a beer. I want to spray my room with it.

PALATE:  Tastes like a "dessert beer," especially after the first half-chalice. As for the body of the beer, it's medium leaning toward slightly heavy. Sweet entry, with dark fruit, fudge (particularly in the aftertaste), and caramel notes entering immediately but remaining subtle. Fig and plum seem to be the order of the day, palate-wise. Aside from that, this features a euphoric finish of just-right caramel-cocoa-toffee-like sweetness merged with roasted malt. Confectionery-inspired aftertaste. Alcohol factor is sneaky, as this goes down just as smoothly as most stateside brews; the strength is on tape delay. Oh, there's carbonation: Prominent, but constrained. Overall, this gets better and better and better as it warms to the 50-degree mark or so.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Cuvée van de Keizer. "Grand Cru of the Emperor." This is a beer that perfectly, perfectly, masters the balance between smooth and complex.

This is brewed only one day out of the year: February 24th, the birthday of Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor, "Gouden Carolus" (a term found right smack front-and-center on the label), who was raised in Mechelen, the home of Het Anker ("The Anchor") brewery. In actuality, The Anchor brews two beers in honor of Emperor Charles: A Strong Pale Ale ("Red"); and this, Blauw ("Blue"). The colors red and blue correspond with the labels, as you can guess.

My verdict? No need to get into details; it's the best beer I've ever had. Move over St. Bernardus. Move over Lost Abbey. Move over La Fin du Monde. This has now taken over Crockett's top spot.




GRADE:  A+

REVIEW 46: FARMHOUSE SUMMER ALE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Flying Fish Brewing Company

STYLE:  Blonde Ale

ABV:  4.6%

PURCHASE:  60-oz. pitcher, $8.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. Not very heady from the tap, but much more so from pitcher to glass. A run-of-the-mill pour yielded three inches, roughly. A slow pour still got two. Great retention. 

APPEARANCE:  Pale straw and transparent, if blurry. Looks like it could pass for an adjunct lager a la Bud. Bright white head like a light bulb. Average lacing, more or less.

BOUQUET:  A faint hint of lemon zest. Other than that: Doughy, malty, yeasty. Not much else.

PALATE:  Light-medium body with soft carbonation. Hop factor is almost null. Increasing malt and yeast factor from entry throughout the early going. Slight tartness sets in mid-palate and gently crescendos, becoming the main attraction come aftertaste. By that stage, citrus is somewhat prominent as well, as is a reasserted yeastiness. Smooth overall mouthfeel with a moderately bitter lemony bite at the end.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  The finish and aftertaste are what sell this beer. In any case, this is another brew with an identity crisis. It's called "Farmhouse Summer Ale." Farmhouse=saison. Saison is (sort of) what it tastes like, with the tart factor and all. Yet, it's marketed and promoted as a "blonde ale."

More accurately, this is a saison-meets-adjunct. Which is to say, it's a "corn flakes" beer with some added oomph. Some.




GRADE:  C+

REVIEW 45: HEINEKEN

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Netherlands

BREWERY:  Heineken Nederland B.V.

STYLE:  Pale Lager

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $30.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Heady at first, then settled in the two-inch range with a standard pour. A slower pour whittled it down to half an inch. Decent retention.

APPEARANCE:  Your standard straw color, your standard white head. Transparent like saran wrap. Minimal lacing.

BOUQUET:  Fairly grainy--more so than most pale macrolagers from this continent, at least. A little malty. Features the standard "cooked-veggie" aroma commonly associated with mass-produced pale lagers. Not much in the way of hops. People often talk of Heineken having a "skunked" quality. It can, but I have found this factor is minimized, or even eliminated altogether, after dispensing the beer into a glass. 

PALATE:  Fairly light body with carbonation that can sneak up on you if you let it. Minor sweetness characterizes the front palate, but accentuates a bit from mid-palate on, in malt form. Finish is slightly husky but mainly seltzer-like. Yeasty aftertaste. "Skunk" factor seemed to be absent here--hopefully that's a thing of the past?

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This used to be a yuppie beer. Ever see Blue Velvet? The younger middle-class protagonist, Jeffrey Beaumont (Kyle MacLachlan) favors Heineken as his beer of choice. The psychopath Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper) chides him for it, famously proclaiming, "Heineken? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!" You can't tell me symbolism wasn't at play here. 

Heineken was also featured during the second season of Mad Men, when Don Draper tries to land the Dutch brewery's account by hosting a dinner at his family's home for their representatives as well as some colleagues from Sterling Cooper.

But those days are long and gone. Now, it's what I call a "corn flakes beer," and not one of the better ones. I'm with Frank Booth; I prefer PBR. 




GRADE:  D+

REVIEW 44: CROOKED IPA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Crooked Eye Brewery

STYLE:  IPA (duh)

ABV:  6.9%

PURCHASE:  60-oz. pitcher, $12.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. Not particularly heady from the tap, but was there held very well. A fast pour into the glass, however, did yield an initial three inches, or thereabouts. Spongy head.

APPEARANCE:  Dark caramel tone, bordering upon copper. Typical off-white head. Walks the line between translucent and transparent. Very good lacing. Easy on the eyes.

BOUQUET:  Your expected hop aroma here, with citrus accents, but also featuring hints of caramel and grain. Well-rounded nose.

PALATE:  Taste-wise, comes off more as an APA than an IPA, as it is not overly hoppy on the palate. (Think Sierra Nevada.) Medium to slightly heavy body; it can feel filling after a whole meal. Carbonation is almost non-existent. Hops softly emerge at the entry and maintain a consistent, inviting presence. The finish and aftertaste are much more complex, flashing a hint of citrus and whole lot of toasted grain, as well as a touch of what seemed to be cocoa--yes, cocoa, detectable only after allowing said aftertaste to fester, rather than going right for the next sip. Rich and textured, but smooth.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Last review, I had a blonde ale that came off as an IPA. Tonight I had an actual IPA that came off as a regular, American pale ale. It was also a blonde ale I first reviewed from the fledgling Crooked Eye Brewery of Hatboro, Pennsylvania. I found that one to be a solid but unspectacular offering.

However, and despite any controversy in nomenclature, this one is a winner for the fledgling Crooked Eye Brewery of Hatboro, Pennsylvania. My contemporaries at various other review sites seem too timid to give this the rating it deserves. I'm not.




GRADE:  A-

REVIEW 43: LONG TRAIL SUMMER ALE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Long Trail Brewing Company

STYLE:  Blonde Ale

ABV:  4.3%

PURCHASE:  Draught (60-oz. pitcher), $8.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into pint glass. Very heady from the tap to the pitcher, initially producing over four full inches. A standard pour from pitcher to glass led to a little over an inch, a result almost equaled by a slower pour. A faster pour (ten seconds) resulted in two full inches and change. Outstanding retention. So outstanding, that some of the head after the final sip of the final pour (see photo below)!

APPEARANCE:  Foggy but translucent golden-straw color. Rocky white head. Excellent lacing.

BOUQUET:  Grapefruitly hoppy with malty undertones. Hop factor is sharp but not off-putting; rather inviting, actually. I'm not sure if "grapefruitly" is an actual word.

PALATE:  Light-medium body with very little in the way of carbonation. Mouthfeel is one-dimensional; it's too hoppy for its own good. This is supposed to be a blonde ale, and it comes off as an IPA. Hops dominate from start to finish. Some citrus notes emerge at the back, and there's even a slight yeast factor. But they seem to fight for their lives against the Almighty Hops. It gets better (more rounded) as it warms a bit, but still comes off as too sharply hoppy.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  This is one of those brews that looks better than it tastes. Not that it tastes bad. But it looked like a champion. It turned out to be a beer with an identity crisis: The looks of a blonde, the character of . . . something else. This is for you, though, if you like hops and hardly anything else. Knock yourself out.




GRADE:  C+

An entire inch of head . . . after more than an hour of drinking.

REVIEW 42: LA CHOUFFE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Belgium

BREWERY:  Brasserie d'Achouffe

STYLE:  Strong Pale Ale

ABV:  8.0%

PURCHASE:  25.4-oz. bottle, $13.99

SERVING:  Said bottle, poured into Chimay-branded chalice. Between 3/4" and one full inch of head on a standard pour. A slower pour yielded about the same. Excellent retention. (This may have to do with the Chimay chalice's etched bottom, which causes emanating bubbles to spiral back toward the surface almost until the last drop.)

APPEARANCE:  Beautiful beer. Translucent, golden-orange with an effervescent and dense white head. Great lacing.

BOUQUET:  Complex arrangement of malted barley, banana, coriander, cloves, and caramel. Subtle yeast notes, perhaps even a touch of lemon. Everything is soft on the nose.

PALATE:  Medium body with gentle carbonation. Malt and banana are front and center, dominating the entry and mid-palate. Kicking in toward the finish is coriander. Undertones of clove and yeast are noticeable at any juncture. Hops are declared by the bottle's label, but not so easily discernible. The coriander factor rises in the aftertaste, but never becomes too sharp or biting--after all it's coriander, not pepper. Exceptionally smooth mouthfeel. Could stand to pack a bit more bite, if you don't mind my being petty. What's intriguing about this beer is the second (and final) pour from the bottle, which produces small yeast packets toward the bottom of the glass. The label on the bottle foreshadowed this phenomena, detailing how the brewing process leaves a yeast deposit on the bottom of every bottle.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  "La Chouffe" translates to "the gnome." What is a gnome? It was a Renaissance-era mythical creature that could move through the earth as humans easily moved above it, or so said the legend. According to the same legend, gnomes were responsible for brewing a strong pale ale in the Ardennes Mountain region of Belgium, which is where the Achouffe brewery, now owned by Duvel, stands today. "Duvel," or "the devil," now owns the gnome. How about that?

Why would gnomes brew this? How the hell should I know? And what does it matter? What matters is the final product. And if gnomes can produce something like this, perhaps American macrobreweries should offer them internships.




GRADE:  A

What you see near the bottom of the beer are clusters of yeast. Fascinating! 

REVIEW 41: ST. BERNARDUS ABT. 12

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Belgium

BREWERY:  Brouwerij St. Bernardus NV

STYLE:  Quadrupel

ABV:  10.0%

PURCHASE:  25.4-oz. bottle, $13.99

SERVING:  Said bottle, poured into St. Bernardus-branded goblet. 1/2" head in that glass from an average pour. A faster pour yielded almost an inch, but dissipation was swift in both cases.

APPEARANCE:  Brown tint like dark iced tea or apple butter, a shade darker than garnet. Opaque but more translucent as it empties. Head is an off-white bordering upon beige, and sudsy. Leaves little to no lacing.

BOUQUET:  Malty, with a strong dark fruit presence, namely figs, but also raisins, prunes, perhaps plum. A hint of apricot or nectarine seems to surface as well. A bit of a nutty undertone, along with spices of the gentle variety; I'd wager anise and/or cloves, most likely. Complex but expertly balanced.

PALATE:  Medium body with subtle carbonation. Gets better as it warms a bit--this is the case with quads. They are ideally drunk at temperatures of 50-55 degrees, as opposed to 38-40 for your standard macrobrew. There is an alcohol presence on the palate, but it doesn't interfere with the taste, which is simply outstanding. Mouthfeel starts soft, then seems to flare up with malt tones that peak mid-palate, and only recede minimally. Finish is semi-dry, fruity (namely from figs), and lightly bitter. Bitterness turns to roastiness in the aftertaste, where an ever-so-slight hop note is found, too. Excellent balance. Savory and equally at home as a dinner companion, dessert beer, or nightcap.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  When a beer snob waxes philosophically about Belgian abbey beers, you can hold your own in the conversation by mentioning St. Bernardus, especially the Abt. 12, a quintessential specimen in that category. The beer world's equivalent to an Olympic gold medalist, and simply one of the very best beers this reviewer has ever had the pleasure of imbibing--so much so that no trace of profanity exists in this review!




GRADE:  A+