REVIEW 22: CORONA EXTRA

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Mexico

BREWERY:  Grupo Modelo S.A. de C.V.

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.6%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $29.99

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. 20-second pour produced a standard one-inch head, more or less. Quick dissipation. A slower pour on the second go-'round yielded less than half an inch. For kicks, I tried a faster (10-second) pour on #3; still didn't get much more than an inch. FYI: Tonight's session was "Corona NFL." Meaning, no fuckin' lime!

APPEARANCE:  Highly transparent. You can just about read a computer screen through one of these! Graphic artists should get right on that. Pale straw color, bordering upon brass--it's an adjunct, whaddya expect? Standard white head. Decent lacing.

BOUQUET:  For the most part, malty and doughy. Aroma is rounded out by the smell of freshly refrigerated tap water. There isn't even a "cooked-veggie" element at play here, as with most North American macrolagers. 

PALATE: Fairly light body with mild carbonation. Almost goes down like a light beer, in fact. In other words, it goes down effortlessly while lacking beer-like characteristics. Specifics? Seltzer-like entry. In other words, it's neutral upon first sipping it, save for a tease of carbonation. A corn-like sweetness emerges somewhere between mid-palate and finish, and remains through the aftertaste. Malt factor seems to crescendo through each sip, peaking in the aftertaste as well. That aftertaste also hosts a tinge of hops, noticeably absent until that point. Essentially a bland beer in the front half, while somewhat redeeming itself toward the end of each sip. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Corona. The best-selling imported beer in the United States. Good "cut-the-grass" beer, as I call it. Great for quenching one's thirst and simultaneously taking a load off after getting some yard work done on a hot summer day. And without dehydrating you, no less. 

Corona always struck me as a yuppie beer; it was what yuppies and preps drank to convince themselves they had some sort of taste, some sort of social status. They drank it because, frankly, they were too good for Bud or Busch. 

Now, all in all, this is not a truly terrible beer, despite what Beer Advocate would have you think. It's one of the most easily drinkable beers in the world; that, by itself, is something. But let's not fool ourselves: This is not a connoisseur's beer. Further, from a price standpoint, why shell out for this when you can typically snag a Bud Light for half the cost? And it's as authentically Mexican as Taco Bell. 

But hey, sometimes Taco Bell hits the spot. Especially if you've worked up an appetite after . . . cutting the grass. 




GRADE:  C-

NOTE:  I actually bumped this up from the D+ I gave it when I reviewed it for a private message board a few years ago. I found it skunkier back then. Tonight's session lacked any skunkiness whatsoever. Probably because I bought my own case this time, and wisely kept the clear bottles out of the sun, and hence, out of the way of harmful UV exposure. I rule.

REVIEW 21: RIVER HORSE CHOCOLATE PORTER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  River Horse Brewing Company

STYLE:  Porter

ABV:  6.5%

PURCHASE:  60-oz. pitcher, $12.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. Slow pour (~30 seconds) yielded, for a porter, a standard 1/2" head. A slightly faster (20-second) pour got it to 3/4". Average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Dark coffee brown color. Very dense and, naturally, highly opaque. Lacing is minimal.

BOUQUET:  Definite and pronounced chocolate presence. Pleasant, but masks practically any other aromas--not that that's a bad thing. Smells like a freshly opened chocolate bar that you were chilling in the fridge, except you can make out faint traces of barley malt, toffee, rice, molasses, and, I'm guessing, dark fruit--namely plum--if you strain.

PALATE:  Medium to slightly heavy body, though relatively light and easy-drinking for a porter. Mild carbonation. Entry is softly malty, bordering upon neutral. Bitter chocolate notes enter the picture just before mid-palate. There does indeed seem to be some sort of dark fruit essence here--again, plum--in the finish; my nose was right. Aftertaste is characterized mainly by toasted grains and toffee. A tease of coffee* sneaks in there. 

* I later found out that River Horse ages the chocolate porter with Madagascar vanilla beans.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  On aroma alone, this is world-class. As for the taste, what is there does admirably, though it is lacking in the front palate. In other words, it could stand to be a bit fuller-bodied. To this reviewer, such minor--if tolerable--deficiencies often make the difference between a very good brew and a truly great one. 




GRADE:  B+

REVIEW 20: DUVEL

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Belgium

BREWERY:  Brouwerij Duvel Moortgat NV

STYLE:  Strong Pale Ale (The label denotes, "Belgian Golden Ale.")

ABV:  8.5%

PURCHASE:  25.4-oz. bottle, $12.99

SERVING:  Said bottle, poured into Chimay branded chalice. 20-second pour yielded a head of about one and a half inches. A 30-second pour whittled the initial crown down to roughly an even inch. Better than average retention.

APPEARANCE:  Pale golden color with an eye-catching translucence; not quite "cloudy." Bright white crown with sprawling lacing around the glass. Steady upward stream of bubbles in the center--due to it being served in the specially designed Chimay chalice!

BOUQUET:  Pleasant mild hop forefront and somewhat appley--could almost pass for cider if judged on the nose alone. Deceptively simple, or so it seems: Put your back into it, and you will catch a whiff of freshly rolled wheat and malted barley.

PALATE:  Sweet entry with very low carbonation. Yeast is present but minimal. Very light-bodied for a beer with an 8.5% ABV. Pilsner-like mid-palate with a contained spiciness emerging in the finish. (Pepper? Coriander?) Finish initially seems fairly dry, but the aftertaste hosts a building fruitiness that couples with a mild hop bitterness. A hint of toasted grain sneaks in there at the end as well, with the spice notes gracefully bowing out. On the whole, the body is beyond smooth and exceptionally balanced. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Duvel traces its original incarnation to 1871, according to the label on the bottle. However, its name arose from the aftermath of World War I, when the Moortgat family decided to dub their flagship offering, "Victory Ale." (This is not to be confused with the Victory Brewing Company of Downingtown, Pennsylvania.) An early devotee described it as "nen echten duvel," Dutch for "a real devil." Countless others obviously agreed, so at some point during the 1920s, the name was changed to "Duvel."

As for your humble narrator's own experience with Duvel, he must admit to being satisfied, but not thunderstruck, upon first imbibing it a half-decade ago. How a second chance often works wonders. It did for Delirium Tremens. And it did for Duvel tonight. This is popularly considered a standard-bearer of the Belgian strong pale ale category, and it rightly deserves that honor. 




GRADE:  A

REVIEW 19: MAGIC HAT #9

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Magic Hat Brewing Company

STYLE:  Fruit/Vegetable Beer

ABV:  5.1%

PURCHASE:  60-oz. pitcher, $10.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. Poured a standard inch or so of head from the tap. A steady pour from the pitcher to the glass yielded about twice that. It took a roughly 30-second pour to yield an initial crown of about 3/4".

APPEARANCE:  Transparent, caramel-copper tone in the pitcher, but pours a lighter, more goldenrod tint in the glass; though, the former prevailed even in the glass after the third pour. Wispy white head and okay lacing.

BOUQUET:  Subdued fruit presence; seemingly apricots and pears, and perhaps a touch of apple or citrus. Aroma also seems to contain a boiled-vegetable aspect, though the particulars are indiscernible. Surprisingly bready--albeit, again, only to a subdued extent--and earthy to a degree as well. Fairly watery from a smell perspective--I guess you could call it a "wet nose?"

PALATE:  Light-medium body with very low carbonation. Softens as it passes through. Indistinguishable front and mid-palate; almost passes for a standard light lager in that respect. However, flavor picks up toward the back. That said, it remains generic. Finish is yeasty with moderate levels of sweet malt. The aftertaste sees the malt presence drop back, allowing for a slightly billowing hop presence (the "Not Quite Pale Ale"), while maintaining the yeast factor. Mouthfeel is generic and, as in the bouquet, watery. Also a trifle syrupy--as if each serving was flavored artificially from a pump or powder packet. The result? A beer that, while not off-putting, is too timid to plant a flag in any one flavor territory, or group of them.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  It's better and more consistent in a bottle. On tap, it comes off as the by-product of some sort of experiment: A hybrid, exhibiting light beer properties at first sip, but taking on a pale ale character in the second half. And the flavors in question come off as if they were added in, and not brewed in, if you get me. Topping everything off is the revelation that the aftertaste is better than the actual taste!

Started in 1994, Vermont's Magic Hat was one of the breweries that helped put American microbrews on the map, particularly with their flagship #9. These days, particularly in the past three years (after being taken over by a Costa Rican brewery), this famed fruit/veggie brew no longer captivates. To be blunt, I've never been big on this one to begin with; I like it a tad less with each subsequent go-round. My verdict? You can do a lot worse, but you can certainly do a lot better. Bleh.




GRADE:  C-

REVIEW 18: GOLDEN MONKEY

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Victory Brewing Company

STYLE:  Tripel

ABV:  9.5%

PURCHASE:  13-oz. draft, $6.00 (three in all)

SERVING:  Poured into tulip glass. Initial head of close to an inch; perhaps 7/8". Not particularly retentive, especially for this style.

APPEARANCE:  It's called "Golden Monkey." I think you see where I'm going with this. Fairly transparent. White head and decent lacing.

BOUQUET:  Like most tripels, this is aromatically on the malty side of the spectrum; hops are barely detectable. A bit zesty. A bit floral. On the whole, a pleasantly blended aroma of wheat, subtle spice (coriander, I think), and gentle dark fruit notes abounds and crescendos softly; it doesn't come at you all at once as with a lot of beers. Faint wisps of banana and, I think, fig, round out the nose quite well. 

PALATE:  Somewhat heavy body with standard carbonation. My nose was right, as there are figgy undertones to each sip. Entry and early mid-palate seem lacking in dimension, but come latter mid-palate, the mouthfeel becomes much more rounded and realized. The back witnesses an emerging peppery quality--though one kept in check. Finish and aftertaste feature this as well as a soothing, warming sensation. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  The golden monkey is an endangered species of monkey originating in central Africa. It lives on primarily fruit and bamboo, and sometimes insects. Read all about it here! Is that why the folks at Victory Brewing Company in Downingtown, Pennsylvania decided to call this beer "Golden Monkey?" How should I know? You people think I have all the answers?

Nomenclature aside, this is a beer that fits the old cliche, "Good but not great." Victory's offering to the tripel market is ultimately satisfying, even intriguing, but doesn't hold a candle to the true elites of the category like La Fin du Monde or St. Bernardus. FYI:  It's mixed with Asian spices, per Victory's own website. So the connection is likely Chinese, and not African. Oh well. 




GRADE:  B

REVIEW 17: PHIN & MATT'S EXTRAORDINARY ALE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Southern Tier Brewing Company

STYLE:  American Pale Ale (APA)

ABV:  5.7%

PURCHASE:  60-oz. pitcher, $8.00

SERVING:  Said pitcher, poured into chilled pint glass. In terms of actual amount, not very heady. From the tap, only about an inch topped the pitcher. The first (20-second) pour into the glass yielded not even half that. The second (10-second) pour resulted in ever so barely more. It took a fast five-second pour to get an inch atop the glass. I will say that whatever head did come about had remarkable staying power, especially in the pitcher. It remained in at least half its original capacity all the way down to the final pour!

APPEARANCE:  A bright, yet musty, golden color bordering upon caramel. Somewhat orange-like. Moderately opaque; translucent. Wispy white head with okay lacing.

BOUQUET:  Aside from hops, which is a given with pale ales, citrus was most prominent. However, for a pale ale this was fairly malty in the nose. Traces of caramel rounded out the overall aroma quite nicely.

PALATE:  A light-medium body with easy drinkability. Mild carbonation with delayed commencement. Captain Obvious notes the hop through-line of each sip. Detective Crockett, however, delves a little deeper, observing the seemingly, slightly minty undertone that creeps in toward the finish and remains for the duration. Citrus notes abound peak after the finish as well, as the hops continue to crescendo. Somewhat biting initially, when just poured--and more chilled. Mellows as it warms, however. Then again, I guess you could say that about most any beer. Repeated sipping reveals a mouthfeel that comes off a little thin at the back, if still agreeable. 

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Crowd pleaser for the pale ale crowd. Meets and exceeds most criteria for a good session brew:  Smooth drinkability, balanced taste, etc. Makes for an attractive partner of various culinary offerings, too. That said, it lacks the polish of the top APAs on the market. A good ale? Certainly. But not "extraordinary." All in all, a poor man's Sierra Nevada.




GRADE:  B-

POSTSCRIPT:  I hope I don't get sued by NBC for using the term, "Detective Crockett."

REVIEW 16: STEEL RESERVE 211

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Steel Brewing Company (SABMiller is the parent company.)

STYLE:  Malt Liquor

ABV:  8.1%

PURCHASE:  40-oz. bottle, $2.95. 

SERVING:  Said 40, poured into Guinness branded imperial pint glass. Why not raise the profile a little bit, huh? Particularly for a malt liquor, this is extremely heady. It took a very slow pour of about 30 seconds just to produce an initial crown of under an inch. The first pour, my usual ten-second job, resulted in a dense head that took up over half the glass, and took much longer to dissipate than you would expect.

APPEARANCE:  Fairly opaque for a malt liquor. A moderately dark shade of gold, bordering upon caramel. Standard white crown.

BOUQUET:  This brew is characterized by essentially two aromas: A prominent adjunct smell, like boiled corn; and a fumy, alcohol essence. Other than that, the only detectable whiffs were that of a freshly soaked sponge. Not that that's bad, exactly, whatever that's worth.

PALATE:  Medium body with high carbonation akin to a soft drink. Cola-like astringency. Fairly sweet to the tongue, though only in a generic way. Genuine beer-like qualities are largely indiscernible, as they are overrun by the sharp crescendo of carbonation that characterizes each initial swig. Highly throat-warming finish that gives rise to an aftertaste dominated by fumy alcohol--as in the nose--and accented by biscuity, unremarkable graininess and faint "cooked veggie" notes. It's not off-putting; it just has a taste profile that gets old very quickly. Each sip seems to shoot straight to the skull. But I guess that's the point.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  "High Gravity Lager." In 2012, this won the gold medal among 36 other entries in its category at the World Beer Cup. Huh?

The Alström brothers at Beer Advocate actually gave this a B-. Say WHAT? 

It's doable. I'll say that. And I know it must come in handy during the peak of winter for a certain segment of the population. If it keeps you warm, it can't be too bad, right? 




GRADE:  D

Did you know Steel Reserve was celebrated--I think--by the Ramones? Take a listen: