REVIEW 3: LABATT BLUE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  Canada

BREWERY:  Labatt Brewing Company, Ltd.

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  5.0%

PURCHASE:  Case of 28 bottles, $20.99 (Hey, I got a free pom-pom hat out of it!)

SERVING:  11.5-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. A moderately timed pour will yield a standard one-inch head that dissipates rather fast.

APPEARANCE:  Has the straw/brass color typical of this style. But it's half a notch darker than most North American adjuncts, and a tad less transparent. But just a tad.

BOUQUET:  Heavy on the water and light--really light--on the actual beer elements. Somewhat yeasty, which is to be expected. "Cooked veggie" notes abound, as does perhaps a tinge of hops. But overall, the aroma is very clean--so clean, in fact, that it smells like a just-wiped metal surface in the produce aisle of the supermarket.

PALATE:  Relatively light body; goes down faster than a drunk coed. Standard level of carbonation. Passive taste, and by that I mean it doesn't go in any particular direction. It's agreeable, but nothing more. Bleh. Then again, I suppose that's the appeal. Finish is mostly clean but retains a widget of carbonation, which meshes with the aforementioned "cooked veggie" notes. Seltzer-like aftertaste.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  From the Great White North, we have Labatt Blue, a beer associated with hockey, a talking bear, and Pamela Anderson. (For those of you too young to remember, before she was C.J. Parker on Baywatch, Pam was featured in a prominent ad after being spotted in the crowd at a CFL football game. Yeah, that's her pictured below; shout-out to myconfinedspace.com.) This is one of those beers that's marketed with an emphasis on how "natural" it is; hence, the talking bear from all those commercials a decade ago. Yeah, the water used to brew it was exceptionally clean. Is that all you got? That's not to say it's horrible, exactly; just unexceptional, unremarkable, unimpressive. Too many "uns." When the best thing you can say about a beer is that it goes down easy, or tastes "clean," well, it's not saying much, is it? 




GRADE:  D+

REVIEW 2: MILLER HIGH LIFE

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA

BREWERY:  Miller Brewing Company

STYLE:  Adjunct Lager

ABV:  4.6%

PURCHASE:  Six-pack, $8.00

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Decent head for a North American adjunct:  Poured a solid half-inch with a slow pour, over an inch with a pour twice as fast. 

APPEARANCE:  Transparent light straw color; brassy. Like a melted-down saxophone poured into a glass. Bright white head.

BOUQUET:  Slightly husky, but a fairly clean scent of generic, cereal-like grains. Not much of a "cooked veggie" aroma so prevalent in many other beers of this style. Run-of-the-mill malt essences meshed with barely detectable hop notes.

PALATE:  Quick-setting carbonation that thankfully doesn't snowball too much as it carries through. Not very flavorful, but agreeable. A notch past neutral in terms of overall taste. The "cooked veggie" factor, absent in the bouquet, prominently introduced itself at the finish here, and lingered through the aftertaste. Corn-like notes were notably thin, and this is a generic style of beer that features that perhaps above all else. Barley-heavy overall mouthfeel, combined with a moderately filling body.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Keep it cold and you'll be okay. That's the key to enjoying a standard American macrolager. Memories of beer pong in the apartments and frat houses of college rushed through me as I downed six of these tonight. You see, this is what frat boys bought when they had some semblance of taste. Drinkability is relatively effortless, and the taste is not off-putting; for an inexpensive brew, these are major selling points. That said, this is merely an amiable party beer and nothing more. Though inoffensive and far from terrible, it remains ultimately uninspiring. But hey, it can wash down a burger and, maybe, get you laid. That's what's important, right?





GRADE:  C-

Adios, Tolly!

In 1990, Don Tollefson was bid farewell by his colleagues at WPVI as he embarked on a new challenge:  His work with his charity, Winning Ways.  25 years later, he was bid farewell again, after being found guilty of various counts of fraud involving the very same charity.

We Have Lift-Off!

REVIEW 1: SAMUEL ADAMS BOSTON LAGER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:  USA  

BREWERY:  The Boston Beer Company

STYLE:  Vienna Lager

ABV:  4.9%

PURCHASE:  Case of 24 12-oz. bottles, $36.56.

SERVING:  12-oz. bottle, poured into pint glass. Produced up to one half-inch of head that dissipated rather quickly, regardless of pour speed.  

APPEARANCE:  Moderately dark, cloudy caramel hue crowned with off-white head. Hazy but effervescent and gorgeous.

BOUQUET:  The drinker is welcomed with a superbly balanced nose of fruity, citrusy, and floral essences, complemented by subdued malt and grain notes. Moderately hoppy. Strain and you may detect hints of zest and spice notes, namely coriander. Just a highly pleasurable aroma that promises well-rounded, palatial gratification. (You like that?)

PALATE:  Zesty entry with soft spice notes. Ideally balanced between malt and hops, both of which seem to crescendo beginning mid-palate. Citrusy overtones peak at the finish. Immensely inviting aftertaste that meshes fruit with pressed grains. Slightly filling body with low to moderate carbonation that can go all but unnoticed due to the expertly crafted mouthfeel. Comes off as a macrolager with the appeal of a microbrew.

MUSINGS AND METAPHORS:  Personally, I consider the Boston Lager a form of comfort food or an old friend that never lets you down. With beer consumers withstanding an onslaught of microbrews, Euro-lagers, and Belgian specialty ales over the past two decades, it's nice to see a good ol' American lager able to meet the challenge. Sam is not my very favorite brew, but remains my go-to beer whenever I find myself at a pub, restaurant, ball game, or wedding reception; thus it is the standard by which I measure all others, which in turn is why I have chosen it to commence this blog. Probably the very best North American "macrolager" on the market.

GRADE:  A